Self-love is deeply personal and often hard to define. It looks different for everyone, but here’s my take on what it means and a few key components that shape it.
Self-love feels like pride, acceptance, and compassion. It’s filling our own cup first. It’s showing ourselves grace and respect, even in the hardest of times. It’s being in tune with who we are and honoring our heart-centered needs.
Self-love is nurturing our mind, body, and soul—not just when we have time, but always. It’s woven into how we care for ourselves, how we think and act, and how we live.
Self-love is falling in love with ourselves again and again—embracing who we are with curiosity, appreciating all that we give and offer, and being able to smile, laugh, and give ourselves a big, energetic hug in the best of times and the worst.
Key Components of Self-Love
- Care – Showing ourselves gentleness and thoughtful consideration in all that we do: our thoughts, in our eating, in how we move our body, in how we speak, in how we rest and renew.
- Joy & Celebration – Acknowledging our wins—big or small—and celebrating ourselves along the way. A key point here is that your effort itself is a win—even if the end result wasn’t what you expected.
- Authenticity – Embracing who we truly are without fear of judgment or the need for external validation.
- Forgiveness – Letting go of self-judgment and past mistakes with kindness.
- Creativity & Play – Allowing joy, imagination, and spontaneity into our lives.
- Love & Connection – Creating more space for love and community in our lives.
- Tough Love – Holding ourselves accountable—being honest with ourselves when we need to apologize, course-correct, or grow.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I hope it encourages you to pause and reflect on how you’ve been showing yourself love and where you may need to lean in more—because we all deserve love, an abundance of love. After all, we are love.
Here are some ways I’ve been focusing on deepening my own self-love:
- Creativity & Play: This is an area that has felt a bit lacking for me. Since launching Under the Oaks Wellness and Events six months ago, work has taken priority over play. While I’m happy to make that short-term sacrifice, I recently realized it’s time for me to carve out more time for fun. So, I’ve been intentionally making time for it—going to more plays (I love the theatre!) and signing up for a six-week pickleball class starting in February since I haven’t played much and feel a bit rusty.
- Tough Love: I recently had to give myself a dose of tough love. I’d been struggling with headaches and brain fog—definitely not fun. Deep down, I knew my morning green tea was the culprit and that I needed to switch to an herbal alternative. But I resisted. I love the earthy taste, the gentle caffeine boost, and the ritual of my morning green tea. Still, I had to be honest with myself: “Danielle, at this point, you’re self-sabotaging. This won’t be easy, but you need to stop.” And so, I did. I made the switch, and for the past three weeks, I’ve been headache- and brain-fog-free. That is self-love—doing the hard work for ourselves, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Joy & Celebration: I took February 6th off with my husband—my big 4-0 birthday—and I’m viewing it as a way to celebrate all that I have journeyed through and all that I am. We have a beautiful day of pickleball, massages, food, and more in store.
Know that I’m here if you’d like to lean into the concept of self-love with me and Spirit. I’d be honored to hold space for you and explore, from a higher perspective, ways to invite more love into your life.
Also, I think a gift card with me would make a beautiful Valentine’s Day gift for someone who needs more love in their life. If you’d like to purchase one, here’s the link—you’ll receive a gift card you can immediately print or email.
Onwards!
Sincerely,
Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com
PS – Here’s an affirmation to remind yourself to practice self-love, ‘Inside and out, I am beautiful and divine. I am love and light, and I only welcome love and light into my life.’
PPS – Want to show yourself some extra self-love while embracing your creative, playful side? Gather some colored markers, stickers, construction paper, scrapbooking materials, scissors—anything that sparks joy—and make yourself a Valentine!
Include things that celebrate you:
- A picture that brings back a happy memory.
- Special things that make you YOU, like favorite quotes or photos of places you love.
- Words of self-love—things you admire about yourself, like your kindness, your wit, or the amazing lasagna you make for your family during the holidays.
Place your Valentine somewhere you’ll see and appreciate it every day this month—on your mirror, nightstand, or anywhere that brings you joy.
Great!