A few weeks ago, a new client Ellen (alias for privacy) booked a mediumship call with me.
When Ellen came onto the Zoom call, her shoulders were tense, almost folded forward. She wore a frown. This of course isn’t anything new. Often clients seek me out when they are feeling their lowest – depression has taken over, grief is weighing heavy on them, they are feeling stuck, lost or helpless. But something about Ellen’s look and vibe made me feel uncomfortable – there was anger in the way she looked and felt.
Determined to break the ice and create higher energy, I introduced myself and told Ellen a little about how I worked. As I was talking, she interrupted: “Are you going to connect to my husband and tell me exactly what I need to know? I’m not paying for you to give me an introduction.”
I took a slow and soothing breath and replied, “I will ask your husband to come close. I’ll work hard to talk with him and relay his messages.”
The woman scoffed, “Not good enough. I need specific answers to specific things, including where I may have put my brooch pin.”
I offered a light smile, “Let’s have your husband come in and we will have a chat. I’ll work as hard as I can. Before getting to specifics, let me get into his energy and then once we are chatting with him we can ask about the brooch…”
She rolled her eyes and I closed mine, beginning my connection. “Okay, I feel him stepping close… He feels like a shorter man with a hard work ethic… I think he may have been a drinker… He used to love working on his cars… Would you understand this?”
Ellen squinted her eyes and then threw up her arms, “That sounds like many men. How do I know this is my husband?”
I answered, “Please be patient. I’ll give you more detail; we are just starting. But does this sound like him?”
Ellen said, “Yes.”
Once Ellen said ‘yes’ her husband came closer to me. He was delighted to have her recognize him. He then started talking to me about his religious upbringing, his alcoholic dad, how he used to love Ellen’s meatloaf, the family baseball game memories… He then shifted the conversation to an apology. He wanted me to ensure Ellen knew he was sorry for his bad temper and drinking in the marriage.
As I lovingly relayed this information, Ellen again interrupted me. I could feel her coldness through the computer. She slammed her hands on the desk, “I don’t care about any of this. You’re not doing your job. Where is my brooch pin?”
I paused. I collected my thoughts and said, “Ellen. I am going to end our session. Your husband was eager to talk to you but your negative energy is too much for me to work with. Your husband leaves you with love and an apology. I will refund you and I wish you all the best on your journey and do hope you find your brooch.”
Ellen gave me a sharp, ‘fine’ and we ended the call.
Putting up boundaries. Respecting my sacred craft. While these things don’t necessarily come easy (after all, I am a recovering people-pleaser which stems from my traumatic childhood), I’m doing them more and more every day and I’m proud of this.
Do I have an abundance of empathy for Ellen? Yes, I most certainly do but that doesn’t mean I need to ‘put up with’ someone’s coldness.
I know Spirit supported my decision as I felt their love around me after I ended the call. For several minutes, my guides embraced me in a powerful, energetic hug and I enjoyed the warm tingles I experienced up and down my neck.
I hope this story gives you power to speak your truth and walk away when it serves you.
Please remember: to serve Spirit, you don’t need to be a people-pleaser – you need to be whole. The best thing we can do to honor Spirit is to preserve our health – mind, body and soul. Afterall, we are Spirit too.
Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgment habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.
Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you need to find the power to say ‘no’ – ‘I am firm with others when needed. My needs and well-being come before anything else.’
PPS – Setting boundaries and saying ‘no’ can be hard, especially if we must do so in the moment. But setting your boundaries proactively can help you reflect and prepare. Grab your pen and paper. Are there any difficult yet needed conversations you could have in the next few days? Could you call your brother and tell him not to ask you for money anymore as it makes you uncomfortable? Maybe have lunch with your friend and ask her not to spread your personal information you share in confidence? Write out a list and consider taking action before the next ‘thing’ pops up.