Life is Hard

The last few months have been hard.

I was sick twice from overworking myself. When will I learn?

I got into an altercation with my boss. This one absolutely sucked as it triggered a lot of self-worth and validation issues within me.

My family and I evacuated for Hurricane Ian as we were supposed to be a direct hit. Fortunately, we are now at home safe and settled, but nonetheless, we were stressed for several days and our regular rhythm was broken.

And I’ve just felt off and a bit lost, physically and mentally. The hardest part about this is I haven’t been able to put my finger on exactly why. I’ve let my workout routine slip. I’ve found myself falling down mental rabbit holes. I’m not as happy about things that usually make me happy.

Life is hard.

Fortunately, when I was feeling at my lowest, I had beautiful friends to lean on who held space for me and shared their hard with me too, making me feel less alone.

One friend who didn’t know I’d had a rough few weeks reached out and asked if we could talk. When we did, she shared she had been having suicidal thoughts. Her vulnerability and trust in me gave me deep healing. It also gave me perspective: I wasn’t as lost as I had been telling myself. We had a beautiful open chat, and by the end of it, we both went our ways feeling lighter.

A few days later, when I texted a different friend and told her I was struggling, she said ‘me too’ and divulged she was having a ‘survival week’ (I love that phrase!) and that she was coping by smoking a butt and having a Dairy Queen ice cream in her car to escape home life for a while. This image made me chuckle, and again I was reminded that I wasn’t as alone as I felt: life can have its moments of hard for all of us.

I’m writing today to be that friend I had when I was feeling low.

Please remember, you are not alone.  

Talk about your hard. Ask others to talk about their hard. Surround yourself with a balanced view of the world, the good and bad, the light and dark.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgment habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium 

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you’re navigating a hard time, ‘I am safe, understood and supported. I trust all things will unfold in perfect timing.’

PPS – Sometimes when we’re feeling low, we forget there is beauty, hope, and positives all around us. Grab your pen and paper. Write ten things that are ‘good’ about life or specifically your life. This could be something you’re grateful for or something that makes you happy or proud. For example: Your daughter kisses you good morning every day. You have an upcoming date on the calendar you’re excited about. You just received a promotion and you’re feeling ready to manage a team. Now that you’ve written your list, place your hand on your heart as you read your list out loud, so that you feel the positive vibes your list has to offer.

The World Is Heavy: Here’s How I Cope

I originally started this blog post with several examples of what makes the world heavy. I stopped and decided to delete those examples and start this blog again.

Why?

Because you know what makes the world heavy. Especially now. If you’re reading this newsletter, you’re aware of what’s happening. You may be a heart-centered individual, most likely an empath just like me who is seeing and feeling it all. You may be hoping and praying for more love and light to enter our world.  

But sadly, sometimes it can feel like our prayers are unanswered. I’m sure you find yourself feeling baffled, disengaged and hurt at times. I feel the same; humanity is grieving and searching for answers.

Amidst it all, I do a solid job keeping my vibes high and I want the same for you.

Although I have proven techniques that have helped me rise above the muck, they don’t prevent me from sadness, anger or a “What the **** is this all about?” frustration cry to God every now and then.

My techniques have taught me to coexist with the dark and limit its impact on my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.

Here’s a few things I do to cope that I invite you to try and make your own:

I maintain a high level of empowerment

There’s a lot I can’t directly control. I’m aware of this and accept this. And despite knowing I can’t fix it all, I maintain my power. If I ever catch myself feeling helpless, I turn those feelings around, fast.

For example, school shootings have weighed on me heavily. I’m not in a position to travel to offer direct support to the grieving families nor can I change a policy or offer a monetary donation that will have a profound on this important cause. Regardless of these limitations, I realize there are many things I can do.

For starters, in honor of those who have lost their lives and all who are impacted, I can live my best life ever. Oftentimes before I go for a walk outside or go to yoga class, I dedicate that practice to those who are suffering. I also choose kindness and a future-focused mindset. I remind myself that I am in control and even though I may not directly impact a certain situation, I can directly impact others. As an example, every time I show someone self-love or teach a class centered on self-love, I may be preventing an act of violence (or at least a nasty conflict at work or home) and that is something – a meaningful contribution.

I remember my purpose

I remind myself regularly that just because I’m living in a time where information is readily available, that doesn’t mean it is for me. I am here to live my life, and to fulfill my purpose. I want to capture the love and learnings from being a mom, wife and spiritual teacher and to continue to grow and evolve mind, body and soul. Keeping my purpose in mind, it’s easier not to:

  • Overly consume the news (as it doesn’t directly connect to my journey)
  • Feel like external events can negatively impact what I want and need to do to fulfil my soul’s journey (there’s that empowerment thing again)

 
I lean into my faith

The Universe has blessed with so much. A beautiful family. My health. My mediumship gifts. Whether I am enjoying the sight of a dolphin popping its head in and out of the ocean or experiencing a perfectly timed sign and synchronicity (you know I love my 438 license plates. Hi Dad!), I am regularly reminded that there is a God and he/she/they are wonderful and magical.

When I feel stuck and start whining that ‘Things don’t make sense’, I lean into the love I feel from God and work to transform my negative vibes to high vibes. I then feel those warm tingles and sit back and think the same thing as before, “Things don’t make sense”, and I begin to shift my perspective. Once I open myself up to the love of the Universe, I can accept I will never fully understand everything (especially the yucky and dark stuff that happens) and that is okay, as I fully trust my God.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium 

PS – As someone who has experienced emotional, physical and sexual trauma all before the age of fifteen, for several years I personally struggled with wondering why ‘bad things’ happened to me and others in the world. Robert Schwartz’s book Your Soul’s Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born has offered me a tremendous amount of insight to help me make sense of my own lived experiences and those happening in the world. Check out his work if it resonates.

PPS – If you haven’t noticed, I’m spicing up the PS and PPS section of this newsletter this week. Do you have a topic idea for a future blog? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Hit reply and send me a note.

Check on your strong friends

My son Aaron, a freshman in high school, said to me casually one night a couple months ago, “I’m not doing too good in my AP class. I’m at a ‘C’.”

Even though he had never received a ‘C’ in his life, I didn’t flinch; I didn’t get curious. In fact, I didn’t think too much about it. This is his first year in high school, plus he’s taking an AP class. He’s busy with sports. We’re in a pandemic. He’ll be fine, he’s strong.

I responded, “Okay. No problem Big Guy. I know you’ll get your grade up.” I smiled, patted him on the back and walked out of the room.

A month later after the holidays, Aaron came to me and my husband Ron. His voice shaky, his face red, it was immediately apparent that he was distressed.

“I got a ‘D’ in that class… I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I’m not myself. I’m struggling with mental health stuff… I wanted to tell you, but…”

Ron and I were shocked.

Looking back on the night Aaron mentioned the ‘C’, I made an unfair assumption that Aaron was fine, believing he’d figure it out and thinking everything would be okay because ‘It was Aaron. He’s strong.’ 

Here’s a list of things I could have done better in that moment (which I’ll use to make positive change in the future):

Be present: Although Aaron came to me with a cool tone, if I were more in the moment, perhaps I would have picked up on the real message: he needed help. Maybe I would have noticed his energy was off. Maybe I would have noticed him looking down to the floor.  Maybe I would have heard a crack in his voice.

Probe: I took Aaron’s words at place value. I didn’t ask how the ‘C’ made him feel. I didn’t ask why his grade was low. Was it trouble with vocabulary? Not enough time to study at night? Not turning in assignments? If I had been more curious, perhaps one of those questions would have sparked a deeper conversation.

Be more involved: Ron and I had the opportunity to attend an open house at Aaron’s school, but we didn’t. We reasoned, “It’s not needed. Aaron always does well.” Ron and I have access to Aaron’s school grades; we never checked them, “Aaron always gets good grades.” If Ron and I were more active in Aaron’s studies, we may have seen the signs of Aaron’s struggles earlier.

Although I missed signs, I never got down on myself when I realized I could have done better and I never lost sight that Aaron could have done more on his part. As my Dad used to say, ‘It takes two to tango.’ What I did do is turn this into a learning opportunity and a way to get closer to my son. 

What I hope you take away from this story is that, especially in these difficult times, take time to check on your ‘strong friends’ (or kids). Those in your life who you perceive as having it all figured out, those in your life who are usually the ones taking care of others, those in your life who are usually crushing it at school, work and life… They may need you.

I also hope you walk away with this: You’re human. You’re not going to be that ‘perfect’ parent or that ‘perfect’ friend or colleague. You’re going to miss some signs and some moments, and that’s okay.

Did you enjoy this post? You can subscribe here

Sincerely,

Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation if you’re struggling with mental health: “I will come through this challenge with a better understanding of myself. I deserve help and feel confident asking for it.” Here’s an affirmation for those who have missed signs from loved ones: “I did the best I could yesterday and today.

PPS – Are there people in your life who always seem strong and put together, but perhaps there’s more happening underneath the surface? Let’s focus on pinpointing signs of help or distress in others. Here’s a journal prompt: Jot down the names of a few of these seemingly strong people. Then, consider the last time you interacted with each of them and consider the list above in my blog post. Were you present and invested in the conversation? Were you genuinely curious about how they were and did you probe/ask questions? How would you describe your involvement in their lives in the past couple months? Based on these reflections, what can you do now to show them you are there if they need you?

A higher version of YOU

A higher version of YOU

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