One of the many many things I continue to work on in this lifetime is not ‘biting the bait’ when I feel triggered by someone else’s words or actions.
As my mentor April puts it, I need to be careful about not feeding the story, not getting drawn into others’ drama and emotions, whether it has to do directly with me or not – be it gossip, or people coming to me from a place of fear, lack or judgement. April reminds me, ‘It’s just a moment in time’ and that not everything I see and experience is for me (such good words to live by).
To remove myself from a person or situation that doesn’t serve me, I work hard to keep myself energetically, emotionally and sometimes even physically separated from the person or thing that has me feeling those extra and weighty emotions – be it mad, confused, disheartened, or other.
And while choosing to detach from unnecessary matters is a journey, I’ve made progress. Damn good progress in fact. So much so that I live my life with greater ease and pass down my wisdom in spiritual classes, my writing and in one on ones.
With the emotions of the world so high and things feeling extra chaotic, I want to share some of my practices with you so that you don’t fall into traps or jump onto hooks (my attempt at bait humor) that you should avoid.
Give these a whirl and send me a note after you’ve tried a few.
- Take a relaxing shower or bath using salts (I am a big fan of Epsom salt) and essential oils. While bathing, put out the intention (say it out loud or just think it) that you are dedicating this sacred time to refresh your aura. If you don’t have the time to take a shower or bath, spend a few extra minutes washing your hands, picturing old energy washing away.
- Cut energetic cords; energetic cords are the invisible but very real strands of energy that connect us to people, places and things. Unhealthy cords can deplete us and keep us connected to things that don’t serve us, resulting in a host of problems including obsessively thinking about something. There are a variety of ways to cut cords. I visualize an actual cord between me and the person, place or thing and invite Archangel Michael in to literally cut the cord with his sword. It works!
- Learning reiki, a Japanese energy-healing practice is an excellent way to support your energetic self.
- Physical movement, sun rays, moonlight and sage also work great to cleanse and renew.
- Especially for us empaths, separating our feelings from others is hard. Fortunately, meditation is always a tool available to us. Meditation is one of the best ways to move beyond emotions (someone else’s and our own) to rise above and experience a situation from a high vantage point. If your mind is too active for traditional meditation, no worries. Guided meditations and walking through nature solely focused on the sounds and sensations around you also count as meditation.
- Tapping is an ancient acupressure and modern psychology technique that can help us regulate our emotions. In Episode 16 of “Onwards with Dr. Danielle”, my guest Denise Funfar – Integrative Coach and Self-Compassion Mentor – walked me through a brief tapping activity. If you want to check it out, click here and start the video at minute twenty-three.
- This one is more obvious, but it’s worth emphasizing: If you can, remove yourself from what’s trying to hook you energetically. Leave a room when your blood is boiling thanks to a rude family member or colleague. Stop stalking your ex on IG – Put the phone down! Change hair stylists if the vibe is toxic. Sit on the other side of the room when you’re watching TV if your partner is in a bad mood.
- Be sure to schedule regular ‘physical separation’ breaks into your day, week and year so your body and energy can recalibrate. From time to time, treat yourself to a dinner for one. Take a solo vacation. Go hiking. Give yourself some ‘you’ time.
Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgment habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.
Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you need the strength to separate yourself from others’ words, thoughts and feelings, ‘When I let go, I create space for something better.’
PPS – Are you uncertain if an emotion is yours or someone else’s? If so, grab your journal. For the next week, try a 3-step routine:
- When you first wake up (before scrolling on your phone or watching the news), journal about how you’re feeling. Are you rested? Are you overwhelmed? Are you feeling gratitude? Get a strong baseline for how you are, separate from the world’s disturbances.
- A few times during the day, capture your mood and determine what events, if any, have caused a shift.
- Each night, reflect on the shifts in your emotions and what may have caused those changes. Did you show yourself self-love which caused you to feel lighter? Did Jim’s outburst cause you to feel angry when earlier in the day you felt calm?
Once you have a week or so of reflections, see what trends you can identify. Look to understand if you’re the primary one responsible for your emotions or if you let the world predominantly impact how you’re feeling. If you’re allowing external forces to make a big impact on your emotions – it’s time to make some changes and implement some more emotional, energetic and physical separation techniques.