Believing In Your Soul’s Plan

I haven’t spoken to my teenage niece in a year and a half. The last time I saw her, she was here in Florida, staying with me. During her stay, there was a behavioral concern that put her in serious harm’s way. My husband and I both agreed that I needed to inform my sister, her mother, so she could be aware and take whatever action she deemed best. When my sister told my niece that I had reached out about the concern, that was it. My niece decided she was mad at me and no longer wanted to talk to me.

This niece is my only niece, and we had always been very close. She would sleep over, and we would go on family adventures and trips all the time. In fact, my niece lived with me and my family for a year and a half when my sister was going through a hard time. To have all of those shared memories and love, and then suddenly not have that connection has been incredibly difficult.

I wish I knew my niece’s friends’ names and how school is going. I wish I could spoil her and take her shopping like I used to. I wish she and I could be sitting around a table together at Christmas, smiling and drinking eggnog. Not having her in my life hurts like hell, but I’m okay because I know the Universe has a plan. Even though I’m hurting, I know this separation serves a higher purpose for both my soul growth and hers.

Separations in life can be challenging, whether it’s losing your job, going through a divorce, or someone passing on. What I have learned through the many separations in my life, is that although it may not be what I want, it may be exactly what I need for my soul’s growth.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad passing away. This upcoming January will mark ten years since he died when I was just 28 years old. There was so much sadness. I was such a Daddy’s girl.  I felt deep sorrow knowing that things could have been different if it weren’t for his alcoholism and smoking habits, which led to a massive heart attack.

The day Dad passed away, I had a profound experience. I clearly felt him, warm tingles up and down the right side of my neck and shoulder. It was my first significant clue that I had the ability to communicate with the other side as a medium. Ten years later, I have a beautiful and thriving psychic mediumship practice that supports many others through their own separations and life transitions. My dad’s passing gave me a gateway to a beautiful gift and a way to serve Spirit.

My niece’s separation has also provided me gifts. It has given me more strength to speak my truth, regardless of the consequences. It’s also helped me to lean into my spiritual side more, trusting in the Universe’s plan.

If you’re out there, navigating the complexities of estrangement, grief, and loss, if you find yourself constantly pondering what you could have done differently to prevent a separation or why certain things didn’t unfold as you expected, if bitterness and a sense of unfairness weigh on your heart, I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and believe in the highest good even when things are hard and don’t make sense. It’s my belief that if something was meant to be, even if we don’t fully comprehend it, it was meant to be.

In the case of my niece and me, I am convinced that even if I hadn’t mentioned that incident to my sister, some other circumstance would have arisen to separate us. It seems as though there was a deeper soul contract and energy at play that necessitated this separation.
Similarly, regarding my father’s struggles with addiction and vices, I believe that even if I had ‘done more’ to get him help, he would still have passed away young due to those vices. And although him passing away hurt, it was also exactly what I needed in my healing and spiritual journey. 

It’s my belief that we are committed to our soul contracts. Ultimately, events unfold as they are meant to, and we must find peace knowing they serve a higher purpose. Sometimes, we’re shown gifts and growth right away, and other times, it takes time, but know the gifts are always there for all involved. 

I hear this message regularly from the Spirit world. When I communicate with those who have passed on, they consistently convey to me that their loved ones should understand there was nothing they could have done differently, that it was their time, and that the passing was necessary for both individuals’ soul growth.

No matter the separation you are grappling with, know that your soul is evolving through this experience. You did everything perfectly. You are perfect. The Universe has a plan.

I believe in you. I believe in your soul’s plan. 

PS – Here is an affirmation to help you release the energetic hold on a separation you are navigating, “I trust in the divine plan of my soul’s growth, surrendering the need to control and fully understand everything.”

PPS –  Do you want more insight into a separation you’ve been navigating? Take a moment to sit in stillness with your journal and pen. Close your eyes, place your hands on your heart, and breathe deeply. With your heart as your guide, ask your soul to share its understanding of this situation. In your journal, record what wisdom your soul imparts, what it needs from you, and how it feels in the midst of this challenge. Trust the insights that emerge and let your soul’s voice guide your reflection.

What if death wasn’t morbid?

A few months ago, during a Compensation and Benefits class I was teaching, I encouraged students to ‘think outside the box’ when it came to the benefits they’d like to see their employers offer on top of the standards such as health insurance and 401k contribution. Students responded with ideas such as,

“Free meals!”
“Free parking!”
“Pet insurance!”

As they responded, I pondered over my answer. I said excitedly, “What about funeral planning?”

The class fell silent as quickly as flicking a switch. One student exclaimed, “That sounds morbid.”

I was confused by her response. In my mind, my funeral would be a festive party, a large celebration of life: Family, friends, students and clients sharing stories about me, some funny and some triumphant. Hors d’oeuvres passed around, champagne flowing. People who felt I’d touched their lives in some way walked around smiling, looking at photos of me with my family and chatting over posters that proudly displayed my writing, my book covers and other mementos of my life’s work. The lyrics of Tom Petty and Taylor Swift swirled about the room. I saw guests bringing toy donations for the local hospital and leaving with a small token of appreciation, like a picture frame donning an inspiring quote.

I looked at the student, her face expressionless, and then it hit me: Death to her is different than it is to me.

I guessed that death, in her mind, was scary, somber, and probably marked finality. I used to feel the same, but I now believe that death allows us to come home, that our soul lives on and we continue to communicate with those still in human form. We come to Earth again when we are ready.

My belief that there is something more beyond our deaths has expanded my understanding and acceptance of an imminent life event. While death may mark the end of life on Earth, it doesn’t mean my soul’s purpose fails to live on. Proof exists in those who attend my funeral; my everlasting purpose thrives in those who feel I’ve made a difference in their lives.

Since expanding my view of death, my life has shifted. I’m no longer worried about doing things ‘the right way’ and I don’t carry nearly as much regret knowing I’ll have a chance to do it all again in another life.

Thinking about planning my funeral and taking away some of the family burdens that came with that planning sounded fun, it sounded ‘me’. Afterall, I’m a Type A personality. Why not plan my own last “hoorah!” and have it funded by my employer.

This isn’t to say that death isn’t tragic and filled with grief – I empathized with my student. Death is unknown, mysterious, and flat-out hard, but I believe it can be more than just its inherent gloom. It’s a chance to connect with our intuition and our soul. A time to get curious and challenge our assumptions about life and death (and funerals) handed down to us. At my funeral, the last thing I want is people wearing black; I want everyone wearing an inspirational quote on a t-shirt and hope I’m buried in something cheerful and bright.

With the tremendous loss of life the world experienced in 2020, I want to challenge your thinking when it comes to death. What if death could be beautiful? What if death could be accepted? If you could change your perspective of death, how would the decisions you make in your life change?

Did you enjoy this post? You can subscribe here


PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you open up to the idea of death, “Death does not break the bond of love.”

PPS – To get comfortable with death and grief, you need to think about it differently. Here are two different writing prompts, depending on what you want to focus on: Death: Write your own obituary. Aim for it to be truthful, vulnerable and light-hearted. Be sure to give yourself at least 3 kudos by highlighting some of your amazing life accomplishments and talents. To widen your perspective of death further, try adding some comedic flair. Grief: Write a letter to yourself from the person you are mourning. What would they say to you? What advice and kudos would they give you? What have they been doing to have fun?

A higher version of YOU

A higher version of YOU

Join the Onwards newsletter, and I’ll send you ‘11 Tips to Navigate Chaos with Grace and Clarity’. Plus, I’ll share personal stories, advice, and events to help you become a higher version of yourself. If you’re looking to explore and release the things that are dragging you down, and are ready to fill that space with acceptance and a growth mentality, then Onwards if for you!

Check your inbox! If you can't find the email try checking your spam folder / promotions tab.