Why You Need A ‘No’ To Get A ‘Yes’

I get rejected – a lot. I’d be lying if I told you it doesn’t hurt. Even though I know my worth. Even though I’ve experienced rejection thousands of times: it still stings. When I get a ‘no’ all over again I feel like I’m the last kid left in fifth grade gym class while the jock groans because he has to pick me for his kickball team.

But even though the rejection hurts, I continue to put myself in a position to get rejected again, and again, and again. And here’s why. Without a ‘no’ I’ll never get a ‘yes’. If I don’t play the game, there’s a 0% shot I’ll win – and I want to win. And because I don’t let the discomfort of rejection win, I get to enjoy success.

Here’s a quick look at some of my professional rejections over the last few months:

  • Dozens of journals and magazines rejected my personal essay(s) that I hoped to have published in their respective outlets.
  • I reached out to an author I admire who is a friend of a friend. I was excited for a phone call to ask her some publishing questions (I’m finishing up my memoir on my Dark Night of the Soul experience) and to discuss collaboration opportunities. I never heard back from her.
  • I received several no’s and zero responses to collaboration ideas and podcast pitches; some no’s were even from people I know and have a strong relationship with.

And here’s a quick look at some of my professional successes I’ve had over the last few months:

Without me putting myself out there and risking a bruised ego, I wouldn’t have had the opportunities to celebrate these many successes. 

Remember, nothing worth having comes easy. Go after your dreams and when needed, dust yourself off and try again.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you’re feeling nervous about getting rejected, “What’s meant to be is already mine.”

PPS – Are you still uncomfortable with the possibility of getting rejected? If so, grab your pen and journal. Oftentimes, we look at rejection as a bad thing, but sometimes it can be a gift in disguise. Think back to a time you were rejected. Maybe you didn’t get the job you wanted or the cute guy you asked out said no. Although in the moment the rejection hurt, did it redirect you? Did you find an even better job or partner? Jot down as many ‘rejection is redirection’ moments as you can to remind yourself that rejections isn’t all bad.

I listened to my true self

Every morning, I aim to walk 3 miles before I do any computer work. I like walking, I really do, but sometimes keeping active feels like a chore. Lately, the conversation in my head sounds something like this:

The Other Danielle: “You have tons of work to do. Go for a walk later.”

The True Danielle: “Get that blood moving. Take in nature. Clear your mind. You know if you wait you won’t go.”

The Other Danielle: “What’s the point of going for a walk? You’ll need to do more than that if you want to get rid of your extra Covid pounds.”

The True Danielle: “Get your butt outside. You’re walking to reconnect with yourself and the universe. To stay healthy. This is where your best ideas come to you and so what if you have a few extra pounds?”

Last week, I woke up and it was pouring. I’m sure it’s easy to imagine how my two sides handled this conversation:

The Other Danielle: “It’s raining. Here’s your excuse! You don’t have to walk today. Woot woot!”

The True Danielle: “You made a commitment to yourself. You’re not going to melt. Since when do you need excuses?”

The Other Danielle: “But the walk will be sooo boring. I can’t even track my steps or listen to my Audible because my phone is on the fritz and it can’t get wet.”

The True Danielle: “Quit your whining.”

As tempting as the arguments were from The Other Danielle, I listened to my truth-telling, no bull crap self. I laced up my sneakers, left my phone on my desk, and braved the weather.

Ten minutes into my walk, I chuckled to myself. I was having the time of my life. Each droplet of water on my skin made me feel alive. The streets weren’t filled with walkers or cars and so I got a beautiful, solidary ‘It’s just me and the world’ experience. All I could hear were the birds chirping and the squirrels nibbling away at their acorns. And best of all, I didn’t break a promise to myself.

After I showered and powered up the laptop, I produced some of my best work of the week.

How can you tune into your True Self instead of that Other Self trying to derail you?

Did you enjoy this post? You can subscribe here

Sincerely,

Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you along your ‘I listen to my true self’ journey: “I will trust myself, my intuition and my guidance.

PPS – To remind you that your True Self and your Other Self are always present in the moment of decision, get out you journal. Here’s a writing prompt: Think back to a time when your True Self overcame the excuses from your Other Self. What positives came from that experience?    

Break Judgment Habits

Break Judgment Habits

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