self-love – Dr. Danielle Clark

Move through the past and into the present

I’ve had the privilege of working with many clients already this year, and some themes are starting to emerge. Quite a few people are feeling discouraged that challenges and sticky points from 2024 have followed them into 2025. If that resonates with you, let me assure you—I completely understand how you’re feeling. But let me gently remind you that softening your expectations may be one of the best things you can do for yourself, allowing you the calm and perspective needed to move through what’s in front of you.

The new year is certainly a time for renewal and fresh beginnings, but that doesn’t mean everything we’ve been working on magically disappears when the ball drops. Nor would we want it to. Challenges that linger can offer opportunities to reflect, reconsider, and grow. These experiences, though not always comfortable, are vital for deep, lasting healing. Without giving a problem or feeling the time it needs, we risk placing a temporary bandage over unresolved feelings or patterns, only to have them resurface later. We need to feel it to heal it.

What I encourage you to do as you move forward on your journey is to consciously approach any “old things” with a new mindset—connecting to today’s energy instead of staying tied to the energy of the past. This shift is crucial because what often keeps us stuck is falling back into old ways of thinking and acting, replaying patterns that no longer serve us.

For example, if you’re still upset about the fight you had with your brother in November, if you’re still navigating health problems that have been around for two years, or if you’re still smoking despite wanting to quit for 2025, bring those problems into the new year energy—into the now.

To help you ground yourself in today’s energy and gain momentum, there are many ways to approach this, but in an effort not to get too wordy, I’ll recommend just one today and it is one of my favorites: intentionally revisiting things we’ve written off in the past.

Often, we wear our dislikes as a badge of honor—“I don’t like big cities,” “Sushi isn’t for me,” or “Talking about my feelings just makes things worse.” But how often do we revisit these opinions with curiosity? Maybe you didn’t like big cities because Manhattan was overwhelming, but Boston might feel completely different. Or perhaps sushi didn’t hit the mark years ago, but trying it again now—with a fresh perspective and a different roll—could surprise you.

Our tastes and perspectives evolve, shaped by our experiences and where we are in life. Giving something another shot might reveal something new about yourself.

Here’s a small example: I tried watching Yellowstone a few years ago and gave up after four episodes—I didn’t feel a connection to the characters. But a few weeks ago, I tried it again and now I absolutely love it. Sometimes, timing and mindset make all the difference.

So, how does all of this connect to those weighty problems you’re still working through? For starters, it’s a reminder of your power—you always have the ability to reexperience something, reconsider it, change the narrative, or at least feel confident in your decisions. Maybe you try sushi again and still find it unappealing. But isn’t it empowering to know you were open to experiencing it differently—open to change—and that you showed up as the person you are today, not the person you were 15 years ago?

This mindset can help you reconsider how you approach your current challenges. Think of intentionally revisiting things we’ve written off in the past as a warm-up to get your mind and energy moving in new ways. Once you’ve done that a few times, you can start to think about your challenges differently—and hopefully feel a bit differently about them too.

What new perspective can you bring to your “old problem”? How can you tap into who you are now—and the person you’re becoming—to shift the energy around the situation? What behaviors can you adopt this year to change the way you engage with that problem?

For example, maybe you’ve always thought about the issue in your bedroom—what if you decided to only think about it while walking in nature? Or, instead of always talking to your friend about it, what if you tried journaling to process your thoughts? How can you change the way you talk to yourself about your challenge? Instead of saying, “Things will never get better,” or dwelling on how upset you are about the situation, can you intentionally remind yourself that you have the strength to face it and that valuable lessons may come from this difficult experience?

Remember, I’m always here if you need some higher perspective. It would be an honor to have a session with you.
Onwards!

Sincerely,
Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com

PS – Here’s an affirmation to remind yourself of your power to change:
“Every day brings new energy and fresh possibilities. I am curious and excited to discover who I am today.”

PPS – Need a bit more help working through a challenge you’re navigating? If so, grab a pen and paper. Imagine a close friend going through the same situation. Picture yourself offering them loving, supportive words and thoughtful advice. Now, reflect on the wisdom you shared—are there any insights you can apply to your own journey? And most importantly, are you giving yourself the same love and compassion you’d offer your friend?

Rediscovering the everyday

For many years, I avoided eating on my left side due to old tooth problems—sensitivity and cavities from my days of smoking and drinking a lot of coffee. I quit smoking about ten years ago, now drink only green or white tea, and have had extensive dental work, so my mouth is in much better shape. Yet, out of habit, I still avoid using my left side for eating and drinking, often without even realizing it.

Yesterday morning, while enjoying my usual Cinnamon Horchata Koia, a big gulp unexpectedly hit the left side of my mouth. The taste was like heaven. It had been weeks, maybe even months, since I’d experienced any taste sensation on that side, and it made me feel alive and thrilled. It got me thinking about how small changes in our daily lives can help us rediscover and appreciate what we have.

This concept has also recently proven true in other areas of my life. At home, we are surrounded by greenery and various plants: orchids, a large pot of lemongrass, pineapples growing in the front and back yards, our garden, and succulents in the bedroom. To prepare for the start of my new semester teaching business at the local community college (year six for me—time flies!), I decided to bring a succulent from my house to my office at the college. And I’m so glad I did. Taking my succulent out of its familiar environment, where I have lots of other plants, and introducing it to a new space has allowed me to experience and connect with it in a different way, and I find my appreciation for it has grown.

I hope these small yet meaningful stories from my life prompt you to pause and reflect on how you might break some little habits or make small shifts to find more joy and that beautiful feeling of being alive. Here’s a list of possibilities to get you started:

Change your cuddle routine. Do you always cuddle with your partner in the same way, with them as the spoon, for example? Try switching it up and see how it feels. How might this change affect your connection in the moment?
Relocate a piece of art. Is there a piece of artwork in your home that you could move to a different wall or room? Experiment with relocating it and observe how it changes your perception. How does the new setting alter your experience of the piece?
Switch up your everyday purchases. When was the last time you experimented with your everyday purchases? Consider trying a different toothpaste, deodorant, or shampoo. How might a small change in your routine refresh your daily experience?
Experiment with new spices. Do you always cook with the same spices like salt, pepper, and garlic? Try adding a new spice, such as turmeric or cumin, to a dish. How might this enhance your appreciation of different flavors and the foods you typically eat?
Start your day differently. Do you always start your day the same way, such as checking emails and social media on your phone? What if you broke that habit and spiced it up by praying, reading, or stretching first thing in the morning? How might this make you feel more connected to yourself?
Change your dining setup. Do you and the family always eat at the kitchen table in the exact same seats? Try eating at the dining room table and breaking out the nice china that is only used for holidays. How does that spark new conversations and feelings?

PS – Here’s an affirmation to remind yourself of your ability to rediscover the everyday: “I don’t need to wait for change—I have the power to create positivity, perspective, and newness in every moment.”

Embracing glimmers

Recognizing the importance of self-preservation in a chaotic world, I consciously create mini-moments daily to remind myself of my true self. Some days, without this effort, I can feel like a robot, completing task after task without experiencing the deep joy, gratitude, and creativity that makes me who I am.

It’s so easy to forget that we are still inside ourselves when we aren’t able to do as much of the things we love because of life’s demands – work, school, caregiving, surviving.

Working intentionally to create and recognize glimmers, brief and simple moments of deep pleasure in my day-to-day life, has allowed me to slow down time to ensure I feel fully alive at least a few times a day, even on those days that require me to do a lot of mundane tasks. Experiencing these glimmers reminds me that despite my external environment and responsibilities, I am still me.

You can think of a glimmer as the opposite of a trigger – triggers can rapidly take us to a dark place and glimmers can rapidly take us to a light place. Glimmers help us release stress and feel a sense of safety and peace.

The key for me is breathing in these glimmers, really allowing myself to deeply feel all the feels associated with them, staying in the energy of these magical moments long enough to smile, to write them down, or to just appreciate the emotions and tingles they give me.

To gain the full power of a glimmer, it’s important to allow yourself to shift from any lower energy you may be experiencing. It’s all about surrendering and letting the glimmer carry you.

Below are some glimmers I have stopped to recognize and some I have created over the last few months. I hope my glimmers inspire you to create and capture your own. What I’ve found is the more I focus on glimmers, the more they find me and the easier it is to be present to fully enjoy them.

Glimmers I have experienced:

A rainbow in the sky
At a coffee shop where I was working on my laptop, an eight-year-old girl gleefully said ‘Thank you, Mommy’ after Mom bought her a juice. I got so immersed in the little girl’s gratitude that I got teary-eyed.
Again while working, this time at home, I stopped grading papers for a minute to enjoy the sound of my son and his friends chatting and chuckling.

Glimmers I have created:

I have started taking random pictures of my cat basking in the sun; she loves the sun. I have been sending these pictures to my husband while he is at work so we can enjoy a sweet moment together.
At a thrift store, I found a bracelet I liked. When I went to pay, the cashier started complimenting it. I bought it, gave it to her, and soaked up her surprise and smile.
I have been making my 17-year-old son’s bed from time to time, not as a chore but as an act of kindness and as a way to feel pride for all that my son does and is.
I have been slowly chewing and savoring the flavors of my food, like the brown sugar salmon I had last week (thanks babe). I am a fast eater, so intentionally slowing down my eating to fully immerse my senses has given me lots of joy.

Do you want to share one of your glimmers with me? If so, I’d love to hear from you. You can respond to this newsletter.

Please remember, I’m always available for remote or in-person Tampa, FL appointments if you need anything be it psychic guidance, a reconnection with a loved one in Spirit, or life coaching. My calendar has been filling up more and more, which is a blessing, but I know that can be challenging for existing clients who may need an appointment. Please know you can always email me here to see what my availability is beyond my public calendar. I will always do everything I can to support you.

I’m sending you love, light, and prayers for abundance and glimmers.

Sincerely,
Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com

PS – Here’s an affirmation for those moments when you feel disconnected from yourself and the world, ‘In every moment, I hold the power to shape my reality. Regardless of what is happening around me, I will hold space for positivity and gratitude, finding joy in the simplest of moments.’

PPS – Do you want to create a glimmer for yourself right now? If so, grab your pen and journal. Walk around your house intentionally searching for something that gives you joy. Perhaps it’s a picture of you and your family on vacation, the watch your grandmother gave you, or the painting you created while out with your friends at a Paint-N-Sip. Stop at that object and touch it/hold it if you can and let the beautiful memories and emotions wash over you. After a minute or two, capture your feelings in your journal.

Healing your inner child

As a young child, I was a dedicated rule follower out of necessity. Survival meant adhering strictly to instructions; otherwise, I risked Dad scowling and calling me ‘stupid.’ I refrained from asking questions, spilling a drink, or making mistakes and I always avoided coloring outside the lines (literally, and if I didn’t color the entire page, including the background, Dad would berate me and call me ‘wasteful’). I did everything I could to obey my father’s definitions of ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’

Over the past two decades, I’ve embarked on a journey to unlearn this rule-bound mindset, embracing the nuanced beauty found in shades of gray. Despite this evolution, my inclination to view the world in my father’s black-and-white picture, particularly in terms of behavioral norms, rears its ugly head every now and then. It’s an automatic response ingrained deeply within me from hearing over and over how to ‘properly’ behave. Stand up straight, Danielle. Only speak when spoken to, Danielle. Do not accept things from others, not even a sandwich from your grandmother when we visit. We don’t need help from anyone. Don’t ever talk about your feelings, Danielle. No one wants to hear about your feelings…

Recently, I impulsively called my husband, Ron, at work to share little updates from my day and to chitchat. When he answered, his tone was quiet, ‘Hi babe. I just walked out of a meeting to grab your call. Give me a second.’

This sparked anxiety. The scared rule-following child within me was triggered. A surge of warmth and blood rushed to my head. I disrupted Ron’s workday. Not good of you Danielle. And Ron…Grrr, Ron. You shouldn’t have left the meeting…That’s not professional…What if you get in trouble?

As my internal turmoil intensified, Ron, upon finding a better place to talk, came back on the phone, “Babe, I’m so grateful you called. Today has been challenging, and hearing your voice means everything to me right now.” In that moment, tears welled up, and my lips curled into a smile.

I had, indeed, done ‘the right thing.’ Ron had also done ‘the right thing.’

My call to Ron served as a powerful reminder. The traumas from my past still surface occasionally, indicating the ongoing need for inner child work – Yes, healers need healing too.

This shared moment also reminded me that our intuition is our true compass and that determining ‘the right thing to do’ is only for the individual to decide. While I know all of these things, I’m always grateful for these beautiful reminders as they allow me to recenter and remember the true me – not the one that was conditioned by fears and limiting beliefs.

It’s my hope that, if it resonates with you, my reflections inspire you to reflect on your own inner child work. May this lead you to view situations and the world through the eyes and heart of your soul, allowing your intuition to consistently guide your path.

If you feel drawn to explore your inner child’s needs through a psychic mediumship session, please know I would be honored to support you in this sacred work. Together we rise.

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when your wounded inner child gets triggered, “I have the power to cultivate a safe and nurturing space within myself, where my inner child feels heard, valued, and free to embrace the wisdom of my intuition.”

PPS – Do you want to help your inner child heal? If so, grab a pen and paper. Take a few moments to revisit a specific childhood memory that continues to stir up strong emotions. Dive into the details, allowing yourself to immerse in the feelings that arise. As you relive this moment, consider the emotions your younger self experienced and acknowledge the impact it may still have on you today. Now, close your eyes and imagine stepping into the scene of that hard event as a caring and nurturing presence. How can you offer comfort and understanding to your younger self? What words of reassurance or gestures of compassion can you provide to ease the emotional burden? Write a letter to your inner child, expressing love, support, and healing.

Bloopers, blunders, and how we’re all in this together

My friend Tori and I had our October girls’ weekend circled on the calendar for months. A few weeks ago, I shot Tori a quick FB message to make sure we were still on track. She promptly confirmed we were on. Yahoo!

Then, last week, Tori told me she hadn’t realized she’d somehow triple-booked herself with work commitments that very weekend; she could no longer go. What!?! Huh? Bummer!

Two days later, via FB messenger, Tori declared that she’d managed to rearrange her schedule and that our girl’s weekend was back on! Hooray! However, later that evening, I couldn’t help but notice the message vanished before I could fully read it.

The next day, I messaged her: “Hi there! I glimpsed your ‘I can come’ message, but it mysteriously vanished. What’s the latest? Are you in or out?”

Tori’s response: “Oh no! I was praying you hadn’t seen that message. Turns out, I’m still a no-go. Got all tangled up with client names and dates, and my eagerness got the best of me. I was secretly hoping you hadn’t read it, sparing you from my cosmic disarray – this retrograde has been challenging for me.”

Of course, our canceled plans and the back-and-forth were hard on me. However, I was glad to have seen her latest “I can come” message as it got Tori to open up about the phase of disorganization and time mix-ups she’d been in. This revelation gave me some comfort because I had been in a similar funk too.

In the past month alone, I managed to buy my first cinnamon broom of the season, brimming with excitement, only to absentmindedly leave it behind at the checkout. And then, a doozy – I wrote a check to my home insurance company for $161, meanwhile, the amount due was $1,261. How I managed to conjure that number is a cosmic mystery in itself. I even confused a student in my business class for someone in my marketing class, a blunder that left us both puzzled. Oh, and while running an errand, I locked my car, placed my tea mug and keys on top of the car while I attended to something else, and then left to go into a store without my keys – but, of course, I remembered my tea. I’m sure more blips and bloopers have vanished from my memory, but you get the point; I’ve been scattered.

The takeaway here? Whether it’s a retrograde, an overload of stimuli, or the sheer weight of stress, remember, we’re all in this together, dropping balls left and right. Let’s show ourselves and others grace and speak about our blunders openly.

Sadly, we’ve been too conditioned to present only the polished side of our lives, fearing that anything less would burden others or make us look bad. But by sharing our missteps, we can weave a beautiful tapestry of connection and understanding among the sacred people in our lives while giving ourselves a much-needed release. In these shared imperfections, we find community and a reassuring sense that we’re not alone in our wonky journeys through life.

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you are feeling insecure about your quirks, ‘I understand mistakes and imperfections are only perceived. I consciously chose to give myself grace and love for fully embracing all aspects of the human experience.’

PPS – There’s immense strength in openly sharing your challenges, not just the significant life events like coping with grief or facing a job loss, but also the smaller struggles such as staying organized or making everyday mistakes (like leaving a store without the item you paid for).

Grab your pen and journal if you want to explore this concept more. Reflect on the potential healing that can come from acknowledging and releasing your personal struggles. Consider how sharing these struggles might create a sense of connection and healing for others who can relate. Imagine the supportive space that could be held for you and others in similar situations.

After some thoughtful brainstorming, as it calls to you, consider taking steps to share these challenges with others.

Sometimes, less is more

A couple of Friday nights ago, carrying our yoga mats, my husband Ron and I entered our yoga studio for our regular gentle all-levels restorative candlelight class.

As we made our way to our preferred spot at the back, we passed by Ben, who was rolling his mat up and getting ready to leave. Ben, who used to attend the Friday night class with us, but hadn’t been in a few months, glanced up, his face displaying disapproval. In an abrupt tone, he asked, ‘When are the two of you finally going to step it up to a real class? I mean, how long do you want to be just beginners?’ I offered a wry ‘Ha’ and walked on.

While on my mat, waiting for class to start, I felt a deep sadness for Ben and his perspective. Instead of experiencing the warm love around Ron and me and realizing that we were exactly where we wanted to be, Ben’s ego only allowed him to consider that his ‘more advanced’ class surpassed ours in meaning and worthiness. What a hardened way to experience the world.

In a chest-opening yoga pose, my sadness transformed into inner pride. Our encounter with Ben reminded me of the limiting beliefs and ego I used to carry. There was a time when I resembled Ben, passing judgment on others (and myself) for not climbing the corporate ladder fast enough, for not ticking off more tasks on the to-do list, or for not displaying enough ambition toward goals.

How times have indeed changed…

How I have changed…

And this realization gave me and still gives me immense peace.

Today, I proudly align myself with what truly serves me. I still pursue ambitious dreams that resonate with my soul, constantly evolving and striving to excel in endeavors that excite me. However, I also find immense joy in simply existing without perpetually striving to be the ultimate best. I hold dear the smaller, simpler aspects of my life, considering them sacred.

In fact, I occasionally strive not to change or get better at the things I cherish, such as enjoying the familiar flow of a beginner’s yoga class.

It’s my wish that you always remember that we are Human BEings, not human DOings. Relaxing. Repetition. The familiar. They give us the comfort and peace that is our birthright; don’t let anyone make you feel small for claiming and enjoying what is yours.

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when your ego says, More, more, more: ‘I recognize true growth isn’t solely about reaching greater heights and that it’s also about deepening my understanding, compassion and inner peace.’

PPS – Do you want to explore finding peace in the smaller familiar moments more? If so, grab your pen and journal. Recall a recent experience where you found joy and tranquility in a simple, everyday moment. It could be a mundane activity like washing the dishes, a familiar place, or a routine you cherish. Describe the sensations, emotions, and thoughts you experienced during this moment. How does embracing these small moments of joy contribute to your overall well-being and contentment? How can you bring more of these sacred moments into your life?

Summer detox tips for higher summer vibes

Summer is in full swing. The longer days. The festivals, celebrations, vacations, and the sunburns (that hopefully tan), the sandy cards, and the missing flip-flops. Or is that last one just me?

For me, summer brings a sense of vitality paired with a more relaxed mindset; the extra warmth and light (especially here in Florida) provide me with more energy (and sweat), a sense of deeper gratitude and a deeper connection with Mother Nature, especially with water.

Because of the light and bright summer feel, I’ve found it to be an excellent season to detox mind, body and soul giving me an even higher summer vibe.

In no particular order, here are a few detoxes I’ve incorporated and some ideas on how you can too:

Calendar Detox: Participate in more spontaneous activities, block off days to just ‘live in the moment’, and cancel plans that don’t energize you. Too much planning keeps us rigid. This detox invites flexibility and flow into your life. I’ve been saying ‘yes’ a lot more when an invite comes my way and feel more free and alive.

Cry: Yes! You read that right. Make space to open your heart. Read a sappy beach-read novel. Volunteer at the local shelter. Have a heart-to-heart with your partner while you’re fishing on the lake. Crying is a beautiful emotional cleanse that releases stress-related hormones and gives us a sense of renewal and emotional clarity.

Technology Detox: Easier, said than done, I know, but it’s so worth it. To get the full effect of a technology detox, leave all technology at home for a fun summer day out, including your smart watch and ask others who are with you for the day to do the same. If you’re not ready to go all in, you can commit to not watching TV for a week and instead spend your nights crafting on the porch or taking a long stroll in your neighborhood. Getting a break from technology has many benefits including enhanced focus, creativity, and productivity.

Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! Water, fruit and veggie infused water, and organic juices are excellent for helping to flush unwanted chemicals (like too many peach margaritas) from our bodies. Summer favorites of mine include turmeric pineapple water and beetroot, carrot, apple and ginger juice. Iced green tea is also a great detox as it packs lots of antioxidants.

Sweat: Thanks to the mounds of sunscreen and mosquito spray we consume, our skin and body may be suffering from chemical overload. Regularly sweating will help to remove toxins from your body. Fortunately, finding ways to sweat in the summer is easy. You can ride your bike, go for a run, play pickleball. Be sure to shower soon after sweating to remove any residual chemicals. If sweating isn’t your thing, dry brushing can help bring chemicals up to the surface, allowing them to leave your body.

Breathwork: Adding breathwork to your summer increases oxygen flow in the body, improving circulation and nourishing cells. Oxygen plays a crucial role in the body’s natural detoxification processes. Yoga and long night time strolls are two spaces where I do deep belly breathing activities.

I’m sending you and your summer so much love.

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use to remind yourself of the power you hold in your wellness journey, “I design a life of well-being. My choices create healing and rejuvenation.”

PPS – To offer you additional support on your summer detox journey, you may want to consider starting a food and beverage log. If this calls to you, grab your pen and journal. Between BBQs and beers and extra sweets, summer can knock us off our health goals if we aren’t careful. That’s why creating a daily log to track your food and beverage intake may be helpful.

Write down everything you consume, including meals, snacks, and beverages. Reflect on how certain foods make you feel and identify any patterns or triggers that may affect your body and mood. Use this log to make conscious choices and gradually incorporate more detoxifying foods (leafy greens and citrus are great) and hydrating beverages (see above) into your diet as needed.

The power of perception

I have two clients named Anna Z. Can you believe it? How lucky am I? They’re both amazing women with unique stories, and I feel privileged to be a part of their journeys.

The other day I had an Anna Z scheduling mishap that left me feeling embarrassed and flustered. Let me tell you the story.

It all started when I had to reschedule a session with Anna #1. I quickly fired off a text to let her know and went about my day. Later that afternoon, my phone buzzed with a reply from Anna Z #2. Assuming it was Anna #1, I quickly responded with some follow-up questions. However, as the conversation went on, I started to get a nagging feeling that something was off.

Anna #2 on her third or fourth message told me she was confused. That’s when I finally realized I had been texting Anna #2 instead of Anna #1. My heart sank. I was mortified, especially since I had already had a separate scheduling snafu with Anna #2 a few months prior. Important side note here: I am not typically as disorganized as I sound. Promise.

As I sat there, feeling embarrassed and frustrated, something shifted. A little voice inside me said, “Danielle, what if this wasn’t an accident? What if Anna #2 needed to hear from you?” At first, I brushed off the thought as wishful thinking, but then I realized that it could be true.

I texted back, “I am so sorry for the confusion,” and explained my mistake.

Her response? “Well your ‘error’ worked out. I had been thinking about booking another appointment but was putting it off. This was the sign and nudge I needed!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. How many times had this happened where my perceived mistake had led to something wonderful?

This was such a good reminder that I wanted to send it to you: Things happen in perfect timing, and mistakes are only in the eye of the beholder. So, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, take a step back, and ask yourself, “What if this wasn’t a mistake? What if this was exactly what needed to happen?” You might be surprised at what unfolds.

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you’re worrying about making a mistake, “I embrace the unexpected and have faith that everything is working out for my highest good.”

Your ordinary is extraordinary

Two weeks ago, after a long day of teaching business to my undergrad students, I stopped at a fast-casual restaurant for comfort food. Even though I love teaching, sometimes between the commute, the stimulation overload (questions popping, emails flying), and talking for several hours straight while on my feet, it’s overwhelming.

The cashier’s warm smile and the restaurant’s local family vibe instantly shifted my energy – my headache began to fade and I felt relaxed, almost at home.

As I sat down and waited for my lunch, I enjoyed watching the owner in playful banter with the cashier. The owner had dark features, maybe forty years on him; the cashier was younger, deep brown eyes and hair that bounced when she laughed. I wondered if they were father and daughter. She couldn’t find a pen and threw her hands up in joking fashion as they talked about how funny it was they couldn’t spot one – Isn’t that always the way? It’s the same with socks. Where do they go?

Experiencing the adoration the owner and cashier had for each other warmed my heart. Lightheartedness and camaraderie flowed between them. Even though I wasn’t a part of their conversation, I felt like I may as well have been with them behind the counter.

When my rice bowl was ready, the owner brought it to my table – a pleasant surprise at a counter-service restaurant. He said with a smile as he extended his hand, ‘I noticed you were charged for chicken, but since yours is vegetation, here’s some money back. Thanks for your understanding and I hope you enjoy.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners.

My gratitude was overflowing yet all I managed to get out was a smile and a simple, ‘Thank you.’

For the next few moments, as I appreciated the flavors of fresh salsa over local greens and Spanish rice, I forgot all my problems. I sat in bliss, enjoying the hope and promise I had in humanity.

And that’s it. That’s the story. And here’s why it matters – the ordinary was extraordinary – the ordinary is extraordinary.

Customer-focused interaction, genuine human connection, and saving a few bucks significantly impacted my mood and day.

How does this impact you?

I want you to know (and to feel it in your heart) that ‘the little things’ you’re already doing in your day-to-day life – cleaning the house, holding the door for a stranger, helping your client with an issue, offering lunch to your colleagues, giving the Starbucks barista a compliment or extra tip – are having an extraordinary impact on others, even though you may not realize it.

Hopefully, you take this in and realize that you’re enough and that you don’t always need to do more to make a difference. Especially during the holidays, many of us feel we need to give more, volunteer more and be more. My story is proof that isn’t the case. Just be you!

You are enough. You are extraordinary.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgment habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you feel like you’re not adding enough to the world, ‘I am not here to do, I am here to be.’

PPS – When was the last time you thanked yourself for all that you do and all that you are? If it’s been a while, grab your journal and pen. Start ten sentences with your name and then ‘I am thankful for…’ Then, complete the sentence. For example, one of my grateful sentences is: “Danielle, I am grateful for the way you don’t let rejection derail you from your goals.” For an extra dose of self-gratitude, consider writing a few of your favorite sentences on post-it notes and posting them around the house, reminding you how wonderful you are.

I self-sabotaged

My sister Kelley came to stay with me a few weeks ago.

Late one night, we fought about parenting stuff – we clearly didn’t agree on how to approach a situation with one of our kiddos. Words were exchanged. It turned into an ugly spat.

I walked away from our exchange hurt. I felt disrespected and undervalued by my sister. I was also ashamed for letting myself walk into an unkempt, fiery version of me. Although I told myself to walk away several times, that the argument was better served with my best self… I didn’t. I stayed for the fight and escalated it.

The next morning, I could still feel the emotions of the spat with me. I went to the bathroom mirror looking for a pimple or blackhead. Having sensitive skin and acne scars from my old picking-and-popping days, I knew to leave the extractions to the estheticians. But it was too tempting… I wanted a distraction.

I leaned toward the mirror and squinted, finally finding a blackhead at the crease of my nose. I dug and squeezed, pressed and pinched until that blackhead was no more.

Ugh Danielle. Don’t do this. You know it’s not good for your skin.

But what did I do?

More picking and squeezing until I finally leaned away from the mirror to witness a face full of red splotches. I looked like Hellboy with chickenpox! Why, Danielle? You know this happens every time!

I knew my face picking would cause more harm than good. I knew I’d end up with inflamed spots around my nose, cheeks and chin. But I did it anyways.

That morning when my sister woke up, we said our “I’m sorry’s”. While there was still awkwardness in the air, the tension dissipated. And as the day progressed and I started feeling better, I regretted my blackhead binging episode even more.

So why did I do it? Why did I self-sabotage?

Several reasons…

Because I was feeling low, and like attracts like. I felt in good company doing a low-vibing task (like messing up my face). And perhaps, without being conscious of it, it was also a way to punish myself for the shame I felt for not holding more grace during Kelley and I’s quarrel.
My self-sabotage was also my own form of escapism. I couldn’t focus on my negative feelings about the fight because I was too busy causing another problem for myself.

I’m aware that I’ve been down this road before and I need to be more careful. I have a long history of self-sabotage; of making a good scenario bad and making a bad scenario worse because I perceive a lack in some way. I’m not good enough, smart enough, caring enough…

If you self-sabotage, there are a few important things I want you to know…

You’re not alone. If you go to the gym and then binge eat before bed. Or if you keep racking up your credit card debt even though you don’t have the means to pay it off. There’s many of us in the same boat and with knowing that, I hope you’re kinder and gentler the next time you hurt yourself.
Spending time in reflection can help you better understand why you hurt yourself and why you add more stress and challenges to yourself. This will help you pinpoint where you need more _______ (fill in the blank. Self-love. Discipline. Healing). Hint: Oftentimes, self-sabotage is a result of unresolved trauma.
Your awareness can lead to a change in behavior. Knowing your triggers and your self-sabotaging go-to’s (blackhead picking, for instance) will allow you to better cope and create a strategy that ensures your actions stay positive, or at least neutral during hard situations.

The next time I get the urge to pinch and pick, I’ll think of this blog and grab a stress ball, not my face.

Here’s a few articles I found on self-sabotage that may help you (and will definitely help me).

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use after you self-sabotage, ‘I send love, grace and understanding to my destructive patterns. I can’t change the past, but I will change the future.’

PPS – Grab a pen and your journal. Spend a few minutes thinking about what areas in your life you self-sabotage. Is it with money? Time? Relationships? Health? What’s the one area you want to work on improving now? Next, identify some of your limiting beliefs around the topic at hand which may contribute to your self-destructive patterns. Do you believe it’s not possible to get out of debt? Do you believe you’re not worthy of love? Do you think you’ll be unattractive regardless if you lose the 50lbs or not? Once you have a grasp on your limiting beliefs, write positive affirmations for each of them and use them every day for the next month to build up your internal power and to help retrain your brain.

Tag: self-love