Decisions, Decisions

At least several times a week a client asks for my help in making a decision. And fortunately, I’m there to assist.

I’ll tap in energetically to give my read on a certain situation. I’ll offer advice from my lived experiences. I’ll ask certain questions to get them thinking about the choice differently.

But ultimately, the decision is theirs to make. I don’t make decisions for others, and that leaves some feeling lost and confused. Regularly, I’ll receive some push back: Okay, so just tell me what to do… I’m just too frazzled to do this on my own… What do you think I should do? What do you mean you can’t make this decision for me? Tell me the right thing to do…

It makes sense that we want the right answer. We’ve all gone stir crazy racking our brains to find some kind of ultimate, best solution. But most times, the way we define right, well isn’t quite right — Oftentimes, we are looking for a quick fix, the easy answer or for someone to take that decision-making weight off our shoulders.  
       
Here’s what I know to be true: sometimes (most times actually!) there isn’t a right or wrong. All of the potential paths we can take will provide their own beautiful opportunities for soul growth.

I know! Not the answer you were looking for. But keep reading.

Even though there may not be a right way, there may be a path that best serves you. And to understand what that is, it’s my fierce belief that you hold that answer (not me or anyone else).

You hold the wisdom within yourself to serve yourself best. Yes, of course, getting a new perspective from a book, a friend, a coach, or a psychic can absolutely help but their wisdom is to help awaken the wisdom that is already inside of YOU.

So how do you tap into your inner knowing to help you make the decision that best serves you?     

I’m glad you asked…

Detach from the concept of right and wrong and detach from outcomes.

Oftentimes, we get so fixated on our desired end result of a decision, that we lose sight of the journey. It’s so natural and human to want a specific outcome, but our attachment to that desire only blurs our vision of the situation. We feel a false sense of control when we believe that a decision will produce a specific end result. I’m so sorry to tell you this: But you cannot control the future!  
           
The reality is, life will throw us unexpecteds and curveballs and we need to honor that. Sure, we should have goals and aim for them, think things through, and weigh the pros and cons to reduce our anxiety surrounding the situation. We just can’t get caught up in the mind game of outcomes. We don’t have absolute control over what happens!  And sometimes what we think we want (like that new job or new boyfriend) is not what’s best for us (but we don’t know that because we don’t know everything involved with that decision).
  
Instead, when making a decision, quiet your mind, connect with your heart (I suggest you put both hands on your heart), tap into your intuition and ask yourself: What path will serve the highest good for me and all involved?

Your innerYOU will love this question and will give you the wisdom you seek. Because while your mind doesn’t have all the answers, your soul does.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to empower you when making a decision, “I trust that I will guide myself to the right decision.”

PPS – Are you still struggling with what decision to make? If so, grab your pen and journal. Start writing down all the things you love about yourself: I’m funny. I’m an involved Dad. I make the best chicken pot pie. I’m an inspiring and caring manager. Keep this list going for at least 5 minutes. How do you feel? Good right? Loved? Like a badass? Awesome, you should! Now lean into the decision, put your hands on your heart and ask yourself what you should do. The answer that comes is your soul talking.

Are You In Or Out?

If you’re like me, you’ll do something meant to give you pleasure. My pleasure comes from things like walking in nature (hello my Florida mangroves!) or reading spiritual guidance books.  And if you’re like me, then you’ll feel a pang of guilt for doing that pleasurable thing… while you’re doing it!

As an example, you decide to eat a cookie because it looks oh so delicious and you want that sweet sensation of sugar and chocolate. With every chew, instead of savoring the flavors and allowing yourself that minute of pure joy, you give yourself a hard time: “I can’t believe I’m eating this many calories. I need to get back to the gym. I’m so fat.”

A few weeks ago, I caught myself doing this more and more. I was never in the moment and focusing on the present. I’d go for a walk and badger myself for not working longer on the computer. I’d eat a dessert and pester myself for not walking more that day. I’d meditate and bully myself for not spending that time cleaning the house.

If this sounds exhausting and counterproductive, you’re absolutely right. It was and is.

On one extremely self-critical day, I grew so aggravated that I snapped out loud.

“No more. You’re either in or out.”

Those words came out so passionately and quickly, I startled myself. I was grateful for this because I knew without a doubt I needed to listen to this advice.

And so I did. To get myself back to living in the moment, any time that pesky voice would tell me I should or shouldn’t be doing something, I’d ask myself, “Are you in or out?” If I was in, I’d quiet my judge-y thoughts and enjoy what I was doing. If I was too frazzled to truly be present, I’d stop what I was doing altogether.

Thanks to my recalibration, I’ve returned to fully appreciating something while I’m doing it. This has given me a sense of grounding, fulfillment and self-love.

I have many success stories to share. The other day, I had two helpings of pumpkin pie, thinking only about how much I adore the fall and how I love the taste of cinnamon. I’ve rewatched several Sex and the City episodes, my mind focused solely on Carrie’s cute wardrobe and Big’s warm smile. It’s been pure bliss. Chores, who?

So, for the next thing you do, are you in or out?

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you live in the moment, “I am here right now. All that exists is now.”

PPS – Do you want to strengthen your ability to live in the moment? If so, grab your pen and journal. Find somewhere outside to sit, or perhaps sit next to a window. Set your timer. For 5 minutes, stretch yourself to think about and write about nothing else but besides what’s literally in front of you (a squirrel eating a nut, an old wooden bench). If your mind wanders, gently ask it to come back, and keep on writing. The more you perform this activity, the stronger you’ll be at living in the moment. If this becomes too easy, increase your time.

Ego Versus Intuition

My intuitive coaching clients regularly ask me a version of, “I have this voice inside of me when I’m trying to make a decision, but how can I tell if it’s the TrueMe talking or my ego?”

It’s a great question, so great that I decided to share my response with you.

In short, your true voice aka your intuition (or your soul or whatever else you may call it) typically sounds like this:

·       Future-focused, coming from a place of the highest good for all

·       Clear and concise

·       Supportive (but will give you tough love as needed)

·       Wise (sometimes, it will even use words or phrases that you typically wouldn’t use, signaling it’s coming from a higher place)

·       Makes you feel calm, confident and proud

Your ego will typically sound like this:

·       Stuck in the past (oftentimes it will show up as an unhealthy thought-loop replaying a scenario over and over again)

·       Repetitive and scattered

·       Fear-based, focused on you and you only

·       Filled with unkind or deflating comments, i.e. name calling or assuming the worst in people

·       This voice makes you feel small, bitter, mad, anxious

The next time you have a big decision to make, take steps to help quiet your ego. To do this I suggest meditation and taking long walks in nature.

Could you benefit from an intuitive coaching or a psychic mediumship reading? If so, check out my services and reach out if it calls to you. 

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you trust your higher self, “I am fully present. My intuition knows the way.”

PPS – Do you need more clarity on a decision you’re making? If so, grab your journal and a pen. Free write for as long as you need. Try not to overthink what comes to you, just continue to write! What’s the decision? What direction do you think you should take? What are the pros and cons? How are you feeling about it? Once you’re done writing, do an audit of your words using the ‘ego’ and ‘intuition’ definitions above. Are you thinking from a place of ego or intuition? 

A higher version of YOU

A higher version of YOU

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