Liar, Liar, My Pants Were On Fire

On Good Friday, I walked into the kitchen and saw my fourteen-year-old son Aaron on his phone. Unbelievable. On his phone again when I just asked him to do the dishes. My blood boiledI puffed out my cheeks and squinted my eyes as I walked past him.

When I strolled by glancing in his direction, Aaron looked up and stuttered, “Mom, I was just picking a new song to listen to while I do the dishes. I promise.”

My heart melted. By his tone and his body language, I knew my sweet boy (who doesn’t even use his phone that much!) was telling the truthShit Danielle, not cool.

I softened my face and cracked a warm smile, “Huh? I didn’t say anything,” I lied.

Aaron looked to the ground and said, “You didn’t have to. You got me really upset. I could feel you were mad. I’m sorry.”

Stubborn and embarrassed, I quipped, “Nope, that’s all you. I wasn’t thinking that, and I wasn’t mad. Maybe you’re just tired.”

I booked it to my office, closed the door, and let the tears trickle down. Danielle, first you prejudged him and then you lied to your son… What is going on?

As I thought about the situation, I realized I let my pride get in the way of being honest. I wanted to be right, but I unfairly assumed that Aaron was avoiding dishes for scrolling through Instagram. I also had an epiphany; my lying could have a big impact on Aaron. Not only could my actions jeopardize our relationship, but it could also prevent him from trusting his intuition.

I started to worry even more. What if Aaron believed me when I said I wasn’t mad in the moment? Maybe next time he won’t trust his gut and his ability to read people deeper than their spoken words. This scared the crap out of me. As someone who regularly uses her intuition in work and personal life, I know how important it is to decision-making, protecting myself from people and situations I don’t want, and fostering more authentic relationships with others.

When I couldn’t take it any longer, I had a chat with Aaron. Blinking away tears, I took a deep breath in and said, “Aaron, you were right this morning. You did sense I was mad. I made a snap judgement when you were on your phone. I realized that was unfair of me, but I was too stubborn to admit it so I tried to make it seem like you were the one who was reading the room wrong. I am so, so sorry. I always want you to trust yourself. I love you so much. And I’m sorry for lying.”

Aaron chuckled, “You’re so dramatic. I knew you were lying. It’s all good. I forgive you.”

I grinned, “It was immature of me and I’m going to do better. It makes me so stinkin’ proud that you trusted yourself.”

We hugged it out.

What’s the moral of the story? There are many here. Try not to judge others. Try not to fib. Own up to your mistakes when you can. Remember, you’re not alone if you’ve made a parenting blunder.

In my eyes, the most important lesson to carry with you is to be like Aaron and trust your intuition always. Sometimes, people won’t tell you the truth, either because they’re embarrassed, scared, or their ego has taken over. Don’t doubt yourself for a second. Your intuition is a powerful and needed tool in this world.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation for those days when you question your reality (i.e. you feel one way but someone else claims differently), I am grounded and aware.”

PPS – Do you want to start trusting yourself more? If so, here’s a writing activity. Set a timer for 2 minutes. During that time, list as many things as you can that you’ve ‘done right’ over the years; small or big decisions you’ve made that have worked out well for you. Did you pick a comfy couch that has held strong for years? Did you suggest the last restaurant you and your friends went to and the service and food was awesome? Did you marry the love of your life? Once your two minutes are up, you should be left with multiple examples to remind yourself that your intuition and judgment are strong; that you have the power to trust yourself. Remember this the next time the world is trying to tell you differently.

Right Brain Secrets: Unlock Your Intuition

For many years, I’d always known there were two sides of the brain, and that each side contributed differently to how we function. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to dive deeper into this information. I realized quickly that I leaned hard on my left-brain: the side defined by linear thinking, facts and logic. My right-brain – the side responsible for creativity, imagination and intuition – was not the side I normally tapped into, if ever. I knew it was time to shift my dominant side. I received a calling (an intuitive hit of sorts) to exercise my right-brain; I accepted that challenge; and I’m so glad I did.

To strengthen my right-brain, I took classes and read books on things such as creative writing and spiritual development. I then started putting my learnings into practice: I now meditate, write for fun, pay more attention to art, talk to nature when I’m outside, and think more about ‘What if?’ than ‘What is?’.

Hopping into my right-brain more has resulted in me feeling complete – and less stressed. I’m no longer hyper focused on the destination and instead enjoy the journey along the way. Because of this, regardless if I am working or spending time with family, my days are spent more childlike in the best way possible. I’m curious. I daydream. I take risks. I stop to smell the roses (literally and figuratively).

One of the many benefits I’ve experienced from exercising my right-brain is a heightened intuition. My thoughts have much more clarity: I can clearly define how I feel about a person, what’s the highest good for me and others; what food, movie, situation will best serve me short and long term. This clear knowing removes that intense and exhausting analytical debate in my head, freeing me up for things that matter most (yes, that’s you Ron, Aaron, Amy, Charlie and Nicee).

With my instincts sharp, I make decisions with ease and confidence, and I want that for you too. If you want to activate your intuition to help you make clear decisions consider ways you can learn more about your right-brain: What books can you read? What conversations can you have? What classes can you take?

You can also try this activity:When you have a decision to make, check in with how you’re feeling about it. To get a sense of your true emotions (not the ones our mind creates like fear, anger and toxic worry), get somewhere quiet and comfy. Bring a journal with you so you can jot down whatever comes to you. Then, follow these steps:

  1. Close your eyes and visualize yourself turning your mind off (I picture myself turning my brain off, just like a light switch).
  2. After a few deep breathes, ask yourself (silently or out loud) how you’re feeling about the situation at hand. For this activity, I like to place a hand on my chest to help me tap into the heart-centered answer I’m looking for (remember, this is all about getting our intuition to ‘talk’ to us, not our mind).
  3. Keep focusing on your breathing and if thoughts pop into your mind, don’t get discouraged, just ask them gently to leave.
  4. Once you’ve settled into a calm state, focus on how your body is feeling. Is it tight? Is that tightness telling you something? Do you feel warm and supported? Is that sensation telling you something? Are you seeing anything, perhaps with your third eye? Visions of you doing or not doing whatever it is you’re questioning?
  5. Once you’ve received the information (whatever that information is), don’t overthink it. Instead, simply honor it (this is the most important step) by thanking your intuition and going down the path your intuition wants you to follow.

The more you tap into your intuition (through this activity and others), the stronger you’ll get. You’ll be able to turn your brain off faster (it will be thankful for the rest), get into that zen-like flow faster, and you’ll begin to recognize and understand the way your intuition talks to you (those sensations and pictures you’re being sent). As with anything, practice is important.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friendsThe greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,

Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to get you trusting your intuition more, “I trust my own wisdom. I know the truth by the way it feels.”

PPS – Do you want to add more right-brain fun into your life? If so, grab your journal and get outside. Here’s a creative writing prompt: Based on what you see, smell, hear and feel, write a story using your intuition, not your mind. Don’t edit for typos. Don’t judge your work. Just write as you let yourself go into your imagination.