Category: Creativity and Intuition

Shift happens!

In mid-2021, I realized I wanted the new experience of working at a metaphysical shop – and I wanted it bad. I wanted an established community where I could be whisked away to a fast-paced and fun, high-vibing atmosphere. I knew I could gain plenty of retail knowledge, but I desired the healing energy and ‘unexpecteds’ of such an environment.

Within a few months I met a wonderful woman at a mediumship development circle who knew of a metaphysical shop looking for a medium. My prayers to the Universe were delivered.  

For most of 2022, I worked at the Violet Butterfly, serving one-on-one clients and offering a variety of different workshops and mediumship demonstrations. I loved serving my clients there. I was learning new things. I got my wish and I was grateful. Life was good… Until it wasn’t.

Starting in mid-September, the commute to the metaphysical shop became a thorn in my side – the hour-long drive turned to more a chore than an opportunity. I started getting sick more than usual. My soul was telling me it wanted more “me time” and time to focus on my family and different endeavors.

So what exactly happened?

Shift happened.

I have no explanation other than this, and this is important to understand: Sometimes, shift just happens. I fulfilled a goal of mine and it was time to pivot. And so I did.

I gave my notice and parted ways from the Violet Butterfly a few weeks ago. If I had listened to my ego, perhaps I would have stayed longer thanks to a false narrative that creeped into my thoughts every now and then: Danielle you just got here. Why are you leaving so soon? You’re not a quitter. You just need to work harder to juggle everything. Why are you leaving when you don’t know exactly what you’ll be doing next?

Fortunately, my ego didn’t win and instead I honored my soul. I’m now feeling more energized, more expansive and I’ve been investing my extra time into my health, my family and the memoir I’m writing. I’m where I need to be, even though I don’t know all the answers of what’s to come.

I am proud that I honored my soul and not my ego. That’s a choice I’ve been actively working with for five years, since I was in a job with a toxic environment and boss. In that job, my soul was drained. I battled against my boss’s demeaning and manipulative communication style, and demanding and at times unfair expectations. My husband and son dealt with my backlash as I regularly came home with massive headaches and low energy levels.

I had received many signs and messages from my higher self to leave, but I stayed. Why? Because my ego’s false narrative dominated my thoughts: Danielle, you won’t find another job if you don’t stay here for at least two years…The title and the money is worth the discomfort… You just need to work harder to juggle everything…

I didn’t listen to my intuition, so the Universe made me listen. I lost the job. In that moment, it was detrimental. But now? It was one of the greatest miracles in my life although looking back on it, I realize things could have gone much smoother if I had made a shift sooner.

What’s the moral of the story? Shift happens. Especially in these fast-changing times.

Remember:

  • Learn from past events where you resisted change. If something similar from the past is being presented to you, it’s an invitation to do things differently.
  • Listen to your intuition and accept the call to shift, leading to more ease and flow.
  • You don’t need to know or control everything before making a change. Trust your higher self and the Universe.
  • Your wants and needs are at times going to change rapidly. Honor them.

As my dear friend Robyn says, Shift happens. Suffering is optional. If you follow the above, there will be less suffering.

If you need to make change in your life and want a higher perspective to help with that shift, don’t hesitate to book a one-on-one with me. Through intuitive coaching and mediumship, I can help guide and support your change journey.

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium 
drdanielleclark.com

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you need the courage to make change, “I welcome in the power that comes with honoring my intuition. Regardless of what happens next, I know I am a magnet for abundance.”
 
PPS – To my Violet Butterfly community, I am sending you love and light. Thank you for your warm embrace and support. I look forward to visiting you at the shop in 2023 with a few special offerings. Stay tuned.

It all works out

The other day, I wanted to get my nails done, but I wasn’t close to my usual place by work (I knooooow. Big life problems I’m reporting here). So, I had a decision to make.

  • Option 1: Do I go to the nail place about ten minutes from my house? I’ve been there once and they did an okay job but the nail technician wasn’t very friendly.
  • Option 2: Do I try the new place just two minutes down the road?

I wasn’t sure what to do, so I asked my inner-me (i.e., my intuition, my gut, my higher self, whatever you want to call it/they/him/her) what to do and she said, Option 1.

Wait, are you sure? responds my stubborn ego. You weren’t overly happy before and the new place is closer?

I caught myself not honoring my intuition and shut down the doubt. Danielle, go with Option 1.

And so I did.

When I got to the nail salon, they told me it would be a ten-minute wait. Nice work, intuition!

Well…

That 10-minute wait turned to 30, then ended up about 50 minutes. While waiting for my mani/pedi, I oscillated between: Danielle enjoy the you time… Everything happens for a reason… and, Maybe you got that voice in your head wrong… I worked hard to keep my vibes high and to trust the process.

Although I wasn’t overly pleased with the wait, my French manicure and white toes came out amazing! The nail technician was sweet, tucking hints of humor into our conversation every now and then. She was meticulous with her work. It was a fantastic overall experience and well worth my time and money.

As I left the nail salon, my intuition rang back in, Go to the clothing boutique next store. They have the summer shirts you’ve been looking for.

My ego jumped to doubt again (Isn’t it funny…or frustrating… how our minds work?), Remember, you don’t like it there. The last time you were there everything was disorganized and expensive.

I again caught myself and shut down the hesitation. Danielle, you’re going in the store.

Within ten minutes I had six items in my hand. Talk about easy! I tried them on and all but two fit perfectly. The best part? Everything I had was on sale and I spent less than $60. A special treat!

The simple takeaway is, trust your intuition and don’t panic if you perceive that something isn’t working out. Our higher self always knows what’s in our best interest even though there may be a few detours along the way (like a long wait at a nail salon).

I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a similar story? One where your intuitive decision surprised you and turned out beneficial, even though you worried it may not? Send me a note.   
 
Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium 

PS – Here’s an affirmation to use when you’re feeling uneasy about a situation, “What is meant for me will find me. What is not meant for me will not find me.”

PPS – Find a pen and journal. Think about something happening in your life that you perceive as ‘not good’ (ex: your brother is mad at you or you lost your job). Get creative and write a story about all the ways this situation could work in your favor (ex: you and your brother have the best make-up conversation and decide to celebrate the new and improved sibling relationship by going to Hawaii for 3 weeks, or you end up finding a new part-time job doing exactly what you love making 200k a year). Get dreamy and really allow yourself to feel the good vibes. A couple sentences to a full page will do. Then, write on your paper, ‘I’m using these high vibes to give this situation love’ and trust that although you may not see it, things are working in your favor.

Decisions, decisions

At least several times a week a client asks for my help in making a decision. And fortunately, I’m there to assist.

I’ll tap in energetically to give my read on a certain situation. I’ll offer advice from my lived experiences. I’ll ask certain questions to get them thinking about the choice differently.

But ultimately, the decision is theirs to make. I don’t make decisions for others, and that leaves some feeling lost and confused. Regularly, I’ll receive some push back: Okay, so just tell me what to do… I’m just too frazzled to do this on my own… What do you think I should do? What do you mean you can’t make this decision for me? Tell me the right thing to do…

It makes sense that we want the right answer. We’ve all gone stir crazy racking our brains to find some kind of ultimate, best solution. But most times, the way we define right, well isn’t quite right — Oftentimes, we are looking for a quick fix, the easy answer or for someone to take that decision-making weight off our shoulders.  
       
Here’s what I know to be true: sometimes (most times actually!) there isn’t a right or wrong. All of the potential paths we can take will provide their own beautiful opportunities for soul growth.

I know! Not the answer you were looking for. But keep reading.

Even though there may not be a right way, there may be a path that best serves you. And to understand what that is, it’s my fierce belief that you hold that answer (not me or anyone else).

You hold the wisdom within yourself to serve yourself best. Yes, of course, getting a new perspective from a book, a friend, a coach, or a psychic can absolutely help but their wisdom is to help awaken the wisdom that is already inside of YOU.

So how do you tap into your inner knowing to help you make the decision that best serves you?     

I’m glad you asked…

Detach from the concept of right and wrong and detach from outcomes.

Oftentimes, we get so fixated on our desired end result of a decision, that we lose sight of the journey. It’s so natural and human to want a specific outcome, but our attachment to that desire only blurs our vision of the situation. We feel a false sense of control when we believe that a decision will produce a specific end result. I’m so sorry to tell you this: But you cannot control the future!  
           
The reality is, life will throw us unexpecteds and curveballs and we need to honor that. Sure, we should have goals and aim for them, think things through, and weigh the pros and cons to reduce our anxiety surrounding the situation. We just can’t get caught up in the mind game of outcomes. We don’t have absolute control over what happens!  And sometimes what we think we want (like that new job or new boyfriend) is not what’s best for us (but we don’t know that because we don’t know everything involved with that decision).
  
Instead, when making a decision, quiet your mind, connect with your heart (I suggest you put both hands on your heart), tap into your intuition and ask yourself: What path will serve the highest good for me and all involved?

Your innerYOU will love this question and will give you the wisdom you seek. Because while your mind doesn’t have all the answers, your soul does.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to empower you when making a decision, “I trust that I will guide myself to the right decision.”

PPS – Are you still struggling with what decision to make? If so, grab your pen and journal. Start writing down all the things you love about yourself: I’m funny. I’m an involved Dad. I make the best chicken pot pie. I’m an inspiring and caring manager. Keep this list going for at least 5 minutes. How do you feel? Good right? Loved? Like a badass? Awesome, you should! Now lean into the decision, put your hands on your heart and ask yourself what you should do. The answer that comes is your soul talking.

Are you having fun?

As I was scrolling through Instagram, a post caught my eye. It asked, “How many books have you read in your lifetime?” Pondering that question, I got emotional.

If I counted the number of how-to books I’ve read on becoming a better something or other: a better leader, a better negotiator, a better communicator, more productive, more influential…

And

If I counted the number of required reading books from bosses (I spent 13 years in Corporate America) and professors (13 years in college), I’ve probably consumed… Oh gosh… maybe 1,500 or so books.

But…

If I don’t count those and just add up books I’ve solely read for fun and enjoyment – because I wanted to, no hidden agenda, no trying to be better, no one assigning me the reading – I’d bet the number is around 100 or so. Maybe 150 if I’m being generous to myself (which I always try to do).

And that is why I got emotional. You see, most of my adult life was focused on ego: You gotta get to the top Danielle! Improve, improve, improve! There’s no time for fun… fun is a waste of time!

Fortunately, this isn’t me anymore.

Three years ago, when I was 33, I lost my job. That loss sparked a Dark Night of the Soul, a period of depression and a burgeoning spiritual awakening. I was forced to look at my life with fresh eyes: I was a workaholic using external validation and to-do’s as a way to distract myself from healing past traumas and stepping into my TrueMe.

For the first time in my life and because of this Dark Night, I put in the hard work. I journaled. I spent more time in nature. I had difficult (and needed) conversations. I worked closely with spiritual mentors.

My efforts eventually showed me how to have fun. I read, wrote, watched TV, played games and did many other things for the simple enjoyment of it. I realized fun is anything but a waste of time. It’s a creative reset. It’s restorative. It teaches. It’s one of the most authentic ways to experience and honor life.

The last three years, I’ve read about 50 of those 150ish books. I’ve savored novels and memoirs that explore things I care about: spirituality, family, sex, love, transformation. And I’ve consumed a few how-to books too; not out of ego, but because the TrueMe wanted to learn something that would feed my soul.

From my story, here’s what I hope you walk away with: Have fun! Travel. Take that cooking or ballroom or guitar class. Read that fantasy or sci-fi or self-help book. You don’t have to wait for your Dark Night to evaluate your priorities. Be proactive and prioritize what really matters. Your soul and your “books read” list will thank you.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to remind you to have fun, ‘I honor life by finding and creating joy, playfulness and celebration.

PPS – Has it been a while since you reflected on and prioritized fun?  If so, grab your journal and a pen. Take a few minutes and reflect on your childhood. What things did you like to do? Camping? Catching frogs? Doodling? Singing? Try and come up with as many things as possible. Once you have a full list, reflect on which of those have been missing in your life. Next, figure how to make those things a reality.

Flip your funk: finding your creative shift

The other night I was in the shower trying to force ideas for this exact blog post.

“Come on Danielle, think… Okay, just think. There’s got to be something in there…You need an idea, just one before the shower gets cold.” Queue rambling thoughts of grading papers and old blog topics and, wait… where was I going with this? “Okay, this is ridiculous. Hurry up. Ugh, the water is freezing now…”

After reflecting on my icy cold shower, turns out, there was an idea in there after all: to write about my creative block.

The truth is, I’ve been in a creative funk. My ideas haven’t been popcorning. My energy hasn’t been bouncing. My projects haven’t been forward moving. Can you relate? Perhaps you’ve picked up the pen, guitar or spatula but your creative process wasn’t as smooth, soulful or artistic as it usually is. 

I’m sure this whole pandemic thing has something to do with it, but I’ve been down this road dozens of times, trying to find my spark, trying to get back to me again. It’s lonely. It’s aggravating. It’s demotivating. And then I remember: the lightbulb turns on and the warm fuzzies fill me as I recall the lessons I’ve learned on my not-so-creative journeys. I then feel centered and a bit creative again, like I am now as I write to you.

Finding that spark can take time and effort. Here’s a few of the things I’ve learned along the way that have helped me and others make a creative shift:

  • Our bodies are smarter than we give them credit for. If our brains and hearts want to go quiet for a bit, we need to let them. We may need the rest for our next big thing.
  • Very rarely is forcing anything a good idea. Seriously. Can you think of a time you forced something, and it was for the better? Forcing should be a red flag to do the opposite of what we’re doing. Instead we need to allow what is. Our intuition may be trying to slow us down so that we see something different, so we can change our perspective and fuel our creative purpose at another time.
  • Sometimes all we need is an energetic change. Stuck in your home office? Try working a couple hours at your town library. Instead of writing on the porch, go to the coffee shop. Rather than reading and reflecting on a book alone, sign up for a book club. I’ve signed up for a few extra writing groups; joining other aspiring writers with similar goals always gives me a boost of word-adrenaline.
  • Distance does make the heart grow founder. We can put down our work and get inspiration from other sources. Are you crafting a speech? Play UNO with the family every day this week. Do you want to find the drive to finish that needlepoint? Go for a hike. A change of action and scenery can do wonders.
  • Reconnect with yourself. If there’s something weighing us down, we need to work that out. Revisit things and activities you love: for some, this looks like a 45-minute hot yoga session; for others, this may be volunteering at the local wildlife conservation.
  • Remember: our creativity always comes back. It’s never lost for good.

And now I’m off to take a shower where I plan to belt out some tunes (as opposed to think about what to write next!). I know the right idea will come in perfect timing.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you boost your creative confidence, “Creativity flows through me. My imagination and abilities are unlimited.”

PPS – Here’s a fun one to get your creative juices flowing. Get out your journal and write a short story using the following words: New York, tiger, flawless, apple, gum, love. Were you able to do it? See, I told you our creativity is never lost for good.

Liar, liar, my pants were on fire

On Good Friday, I walked into the kitchen and saw my fourteen-year-old son Aaron on his phone. Unbelievable. On his phone again when I just asked him to do the dishes. My blood boiled. I puffed out my cheeks and squinted my eyes as I walked past him.

When I strolled by glancing in his direction, Aaron looked up and stuttered, “Mom, I was just picking a new song to listen to while I do the dishes. I promise.”

My heart melted. By his tone and his body language, I knew my sweet boy (who doesn’t even use his phone that much!) was telling the truth. Shit Danielle, not cool.

I softened my face and cracked a warm smile, “Huh? I didn’t say anything,” I lied.

Aaron looked to the ground and said, “You didn’t have to. You got me really upset. I could feel you were mad. I’m sorry.”

Stubborn and embarrassed, I quipped, “Nope, that’s all you. I wasn’t thinking that, and I wasn’t mad. Maybe you’re just tired.”

I booked it to my office, closed the door, and let the tears trickle down. Danielle, first you prejudged him and then you lied to your son… What is going on?

As I thought about the situation, I realized I let my pride get in the way of being honest. I wanted to be right, but I unfairly assumed that Aaron was avoiding dishes for scrolling through Instagram. I also had an epiphany; my lying could have a big impact on Aaron. Not only could my actions jeopardize our relationship, but it could also prevent him from trusting his intuition.

I started to worry even more. What if Aaron believed me when I said I wasn’t mad in the moment? Maybe next time he won’t trust his gut and his ability to read people deeper than their spoken words. This scared the crap out of me. As someone who regularly uses her intuition in work and personal life, I know how important it is to decision-making, protecting myself from people and situations I don’t want, and fostering more authentic relationships with others.

When I couldn’t take it any longer, I had a chat with Aaron. Blinking away tears, I took a deep breath in and said, “Aaron, you were right this morning. You did sense I was mad. I made a snap judgement when you were on your phone. I realized that was unfair of me, but I was too stubborn to admit it so I tried to make it seem like you were the one who was reading the room wrong. I am so, so sorry. I always want you to trust yourself. I love you so much. And I’m sorry for lying.”

Aaron chuckled, “You’re so dramatic. I knew you were lying. It’s all good. I forgive you.”

I grinned, “It was immature of me and I’m going to do better. It makes me so stinkin’ proud that you trusted yourself.”

We hugged it out.

What’s the moral of the story? There are many here. Try not to judge others. Try not to fib. Own up to your mistakes when you can. Remember, you’re not alone if you’ve made a parenting blunder.

In my eyes, the most important lesson to carry with you is to be like Aaron and trust your intuition always. Sometimes, people won’t tell you the truth, either because they’re embarrassed, scared, or their ego has taken over. Don’t doubt yourself for a second. Your intuition is a powerful and needed tool in this world.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation for those days when you question your reality (i.e. you feel one way but someone else claims differently), “I am grounded and aware.”

PPS – Do you want to start trusting yourself more? If so, here’s a writing activity. Set a timer for 2 minutes. During that time, list as many things as you can that you’ve ‘done right’ over the years; small or big decisions you’ve made that have worked out well for you. Did you pick a comfy couch that has held strong for years? Did you suggest the last restaurant you and your friends went to and the service and food was awesome? Did you marry the love of your life? Once your two minutes are up, you should be left with multiple examples to remind yourself that your intuition and judgment are strong; that you have the power to trust yourself. Remember this the next time the world is trying to tell you differently.

Right brain secrets: Unlock your Intuition

For many years, I’d always known there were two sides of the brain, and that each side contributed differently to how we function. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I began to dive deeper into this information. I realized quickly that I leaned hard on my left-brain: the side defined by linear thinking, facts and logic. My right-brain – the side responsible for creativity, imagination and intuition – was not the side I normally tapped into, if ever. I knew it was time to shift my dominant side. I received a calling (an intuitive hit of sorts) to exercise my right-brain; I accepted that challenge; and I’m so glad I did.

To strengthen my right-brain, I took classes and read books on things such as creative writing and spiritual development. I then started putting my learnings into practice: I now meditate, write for fun, pay more attention to art, talk to nature when I’m outside, and think more about ‘What if?’ than ‘What is?’.

Hopping into my right-brain more has resulted in me feeling complete – and less stressed. I’m no longer hyper focused on the destination and instead enjoy the journey along the way. Because of this, regardless if I am working or spending time with family, my days are spent more childlike in the best way possible. I’m curious. I daydream. I take risks. I stop to smell the roses (literally and figuratively).

One of the many benefits I’ve experienced from exercising my right-brain is a heightened intuition. My thoughts have much more clarity: I can clearly define how I feel about a person, what’s the highest good for me and others; what food, movie, situation will best serve me short and long term. This clear knowing removes that intense and exhausting analytical debate in my head, freeing me up for things that matter most (yes, that’s you Ron, Aaron, Amy, Charlie and Nicee).

With my instincts sharp, I make decisions with ease and confidence, and I want that for you too. If you want to activate your intuition to help you make clear decisions consider ways you can learn more about your right-brain: What books can you read? What conversations can you have? What classes can you take?

You can also try this activity:When you have a decision to make, check in with how you’re feeling about it. To get a sense of your true emotions (not the ones our mind creates like fear, anger and toxic worry), get somewhere quiet and comfy. Bring a journal with you so you can jot down whatever comes to you. Then, follow these steps:

  1. Close your eyes and visualize yourself turning your mind off (I picture myself turning my brain off, just like a light switch).
  2. After a few deep breathes, ask yourself (silently or out loud) how you’re feeling about the situation at hand. For this activity, I like to place a hand on my chest to help me tap into the heart-centered answer I’m looking for (remember, this is all about getting our intuition to ‘talk’ to us, not our mind).
  3. Keep focusing on your breathing and if thoughts pop into your mind, don’t get discouraged, just ask them gently to leave.
  4. Once you’ve settled into a calm state, focus on how your body is feeling. Is it tight? Is that tightness telling you something? Do you feel warm and supported? Is that sensation telling you something? Are you seeing anything, perhaps with your third eye? Visions of you doing or not doing whatever it is you’re questioning?
  5. Once you’ve received the information (whatever that information is), don’t overthink it. Instead, simply honor it (this is the most important step) by thanking your intuition and going down the path your intuition wants you to follow.

The more you tap into your intuition (through this activity and others), the stronger you’ll get. You’ll be able to turn your brain off faster (it will be thankful for the rest), get into that zen-like flow faster, and you’ll begin to recognize and understand the way your intuition talks to you (those sensations and pictures you’re being sent). As with anything, practice is important.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.  

Sincerely,

Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to get you trusting your intuition more, “I trust my own wisdom. I know the truth by the way it feels.”

PPS – Do you want to add more right-brain fun into your life? If so, grab your journal and get outside. Here’s a creative writing prompt: Based on what you see, smell, hear and feel, write a story using your intuition, not your mind. Don’t edit for typos. Don’t judge your work. Just write as you let yourself go into your imagination.

Learn by doing

For the last few years, I’ve been intentionally hermitting, focused on going inward so I could finish my memoir about my Dark Night of the Soul. My debut book is about my spiritually guided journey to heal past wounds, mend important relationships in my life and rekindle my marriage after I lost my job unexpectedly. Now that the first draft of the book is complete, I’ve started coming out of my shell to offer the world my wisdom and healing from my Dark Night through a variety of means such as this newsletter, workshops and private 1 x 1’s with clients.

A 2021 goal of mine was to start guest-appearing on podcasts to share my messages of forgiveness, healing and love even further. Although I was nervous to put myself out there over the airwaves (especially after the hermitting), I began listening to podcasts with audiences I hoped would connect with my message.

That’s when I came across The Quantum Shift podcast and noticed a friend of mine had been a guest. I listened to her episode and knew I wanted to be a part of that heart-centered energy, an energy filled with curiosity, support and empathy. I reached out to my friend to connect me to Shawna Pelton, the host. Next thing I knew, I was filling out forms to be featured on her show. I swear it was meant to be because Shawna connected to my message and invited me on.  

On the big day to record Episode 40, I felt prepared for our Zoom session. I made sure I looked the part (hairspray to tame my crazy fly-aways, foundation powder to control my oily face). I ensured there’d be no distractions (Thank you, Puppy Palace, for taking care of Charlie!). And I tested my equipment ahead of time.

During the podcast, I was in heaven. Shawna created a comfortable environment, asked thought-provoking questions and beautifully added her own wisdom and touch to the conversation. But by the end, I had mixed emotions.  I was proud of putting myself out there. Proud of speaking my truth. Proud of doing what I could to help people navigate their darkness to find their light, but…

I was also embarrassed. Among many things I could have done better (note to self: don’t clap into the mic and don’t overtalk about yourself) I interrupted the calm and patient Shawna at least twice.

For the next few days, all the ‘good’ my message would achieve didn’t matter to me. Instead, I walked around with a yucky feeling in my stomach. Even drinking my favorite tea couldn’t settle me. I gave myself pep talks in hopes of finding calm, “Danielle, this was your first podcast appearance. Brush it off! Shawna knows your heart. The two of you left off in a great place. The audience will understand your enthusiasm.” Although I was saying the right things to myself, the messages weren’t hitting the spot.

Finally, after mulling around my disappointments for days, I finally pieced together the pep talk I needed thanks to Dan Blank’s podcast episode ‘Why I Create and Share’ that focused on the importance of learning by doing. The words of wisdom I finally gave myself sounded like this, “Danielle, you went in with love, not ego. You interrupted out of excitement and inexperience (and being a hermit for a few years). You were a kid in a candy store, jumping for joy, elated to be speaking to a like-minded individual… Your intention was pure.”

Once I reminded myself of my intention, my mistakes no longer mattered as much, and the self-judgement melted away.

What are you beating yourself up over? Was your intention pure?

Did you enjoy this post? You can subscribe here. 

Sincerely,

Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to encourage you to “live and learn”, to enjoy and reflect on what brings you happiness without falling into self-doubt: “I am trying new things and creating a brighter reality; I believe in what feels good to my soul, and I am intentional in all that I do.”

PPS – It’s so easy for us to hyper-focus on our mistakes and fixate on what we could have done better in the moment. Here’s a journal prompt to shift your focus a bit and put you in a positive growth mindset: Think about some of your most recent accomplishments and write them down. These could range from winning an award at work to adding an extra mile onto your daily walk. Then, consider the efforts that went into achieving these things and jot those down. Did you work late a few nights a week? Did you give yourself daily pep talks? Did you sacrifice TV time? While you’re journaling, do your best to not let self-criticizing thoughts pop into your head, such as ‘I could have done better.’

Annnnnnd – Don’t forget to support my first ever podcast appearance and get to know the talented and soulful Shawna. Be sure to listen to Episode #40 Move Beyond the Dark Night of the Soul on The Quantum Shift.

Believe in your worth, not the numbers

After I write an article and share it on social media, I find myself all too eagerly awaiting the likes, comments and shares. I know I shouldn’t need validation that I’m putting out meaningful work, but it usually takes my ego 15 or so (okay, more like 30) minutes to remember that.

During that ‘window of ego’, sometimes I’ll spin out in a mental frenzy. Are people reading? Do they like it? Will I make an impact?

When I finally stop obsessively checking my social media stats and come to, I breathe in and remind myself of a few important things: what matters is sharing my truth and connecting with others; that the numbers will never matter more than the lives I impact. Some days, pulling myself out of a social media spiral seems impossible, my worry about trying to make a difference sends me reeling. And some days, the ones who pull me out of that spiral are exactly those lives I’ve impacted (and nine times out of ten, I had no clue I’ve made a difference in these people’s lives).

Last week, when I least expected it (i.e., when I wasn’t mid-frenzy and desperately refreshing my social media apps), a long-time friend posted a raw, vulnerable, unconventional post on Facebook. This person, who usually doesn’t go deep on Facebook, spoke about his grief and mental health struggles over the last few years and how 2020 was the year to give him love, healing and happiness. My friend wrote about how he went inward and got to know himself in a new way. He also bought a house in a community he loves and spent precious time with his wife and his dog. All of these helped him to move forward from his trauma and darkness. But although my friend had a beautiful year and a desire to share his experiences, he hadn’t because he felt guilty because many others had a difficult year.

Reading about his brave ‘coming out’ of sorts – the courage to share his story with others – gave me hope for deep healing in the world and reminded me of how much I love him. With happy tears in my eyes, I responded to his post, telling him how proud I was of him. I let him know that his words were beautiful – and I mentioned that I’d known him for close to 20 years and never knew him to be a writer.

He responded, saying he thought of me as he wrote his post thanks to the amount of vulnerable sharing and writing I’ve been doing lately. I was shocked to learn he’d been reading my work. I don’t recall getting a like or a comment from him in the past, but perhaps I have. I was honored to know that the work I’ve been creating spurred someone else to create meaningful work. With every new piece I write and choose to share with the world, more people will be thinking about the world differently, healing, bravely telling their stories and perhaps creating their own work too.

Take this as a reminder that while “Atta girls” (or boys), awards and social media love are important and feel great, they are not the whole picture and they don’t define your worth or impact. You’re creating value. There are many lives you’ve impacted that you don’t even know about and there will be more too.

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Sincerely,

Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to remind you of your worth when putting your ideas/work out there: “I trust my work can and will make a difference. I believe that it will be received by those who need it most; I can feel my impact taking place.”

PPS – Do you want to kick your insecurities to the curb? Spend a few minutes journaling. Here’s a prompt: Think about a piece of work you’re putting out into the world: your food, your coaching, your writing, your music, your artwork – whatever that work may be. Imagine a few different people taking in your work: an older man with cancer, a young girl whose parents are moving through divorce, a mother of four suffering from depression, your ideal audience. How does your work help them? If you were with them 1×1, what would they say about how your work has impacted them?

A higher version of YOU

A higher version of YOU

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