ego – Dr. Danielle Clark

Never assume…Get curious instead

Sometimes, my hero complex switches on and suddenly I’m in ‘rescuer mode’ trying to ‘save’ someone or ‘fix’ a situation. This heroism takes on many forms…

Recently, my husband Ron came home upset about something that happened at work. After Ron gave me the details, I jumped into a motivational speech of sorts about how he could have handled the situation differently and how he could do it better next time (I’m sure you know where this is going). When I came up for air thirty minutes later, I could see Ron was more distraught than when he got home. I asked Ron what was wrong and he expressed he didn’t need a lecture – all he needed in that moment was an ear. Not my best “donned my cape and answered the call” moment.

Here’s another example:

A few weeks ago while walking around Dunedin, I noticed my son was chatting with a stranger about 15 feet from me. Looking like he felt trapped in the conversation, I interrupted several times, yelling, ‘Come on Aaron, we have to go.’ When my son finally walked over to me, he was annoyed and told me he was having a great chat – the stranger had seen his wrestling shirt and was talking to him about his own wrestling days.

In both of these situations, I had good intentions. I love my boys fiercely and always want what’s best for them – the problem is, I assumed I knew what was best for them instead of getting curious and believing they knew what was best.

Thinking back to both situations, I picture my good intentions landing differently had I not made presumptions and asked a few questions.

Hey babe. It sounds like your day hit you like a ton of bricks…What do you need from me? How can I best support you?

Hi Aaron. Hi Stranger, it’s nice to meet you. What are you guys talking about?

Self-reflection taught me this: I need to recognize where I can soften, where I need to let go a little bit more, and where I need to trust my boys more. However, I’m not judging myself for my actions either. Jumping into “hero mode” is one way I cope with the chaos of my life and the uncontrollables of our world right now.

And so, I’ll continue to Reflect. Let go. Get curious. Shift. Repeat. All while remembering that when I sense a bat signal shining in the sky, to consider my plan before jumping in.

I’m curious. When have you jumped in to save the day – when the day didn’t need saving? Where in your life can you Reflect? Let go? Get curious? Shift? Repeat? I’d love to hear from you. Reply to this email if it calls to you.

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com

PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you calm the hero complex within you: ‘I trade judgment for curiosity.’

Everything happens in perfect timing

Last month, I was in Virginia enjoying a meditation retreat at the Monroe Institute. Side note: I highly recommend their Gateway program if you’re looking for a space to reflect, heal and explore your consciousness while enjoying mountain air, exquisite food and a diverse group of like-minded, spiritually connected people. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions about the program.

Okay, back to the story…

On my last full day at the Monroe Institute, all participants were tasked with going outside for a solo no-talking-to-others meditative nature walk before coming back inside for an extended inside meditation.

My ego started talking: Of all the days to have been assigned this activity… Why today? It’s dreary. It’s raining. It’s cold… Why couldn’t it have been yesterday when it was sunnier and—

I interrupted my inner chatter as I remembered the book The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection by Mickey Singer which I had just finished two months before my trip.

In The Surrender Experiment, Mickey specifically talks about the rain, ‘Could it really be so hard to just let it rain when it rains and be sunny when it’s sunny without complaining about it? Apparently, the mind can’t do it…’ Mickey then points out that we oftentimes automatically assume we know what’s best, but we don’t, and instead of wanting to control things and make them different, we should let go and accept things as is and trust universal flow.

So that’s what I did. I took a deep breath, shifted my energy to a place of gratitude and curiosity and went to my room to put on my boots. Next, I grabbed an umbrella and went outside.

Within the first few steps of my walk, the Blue Ridge Mountains revealed themselves in the distance, a panoramic display. I felt small yet seen, as if the mountains knew I was there, embracing me among its natural landscape. A white haze drifted among its peaks which weaved around each other for miles. The pitter-patter of the rain on my umbrella put me into a light, love-induced trance. Fifteen or so people spread out with umbrellas in hand, walking the foothills of the mountains and connecting with Mother Nature and their Higher Selves. The sight was like a crowd of ants working toward the same purpose. A feeling of bliss swept through me, and I couldn’t help but swing my umbrella back and face the sky, enjoying the rain on my skin.

When I came back inside, I felt awe and gratitude. If I hadn’t read The Surrender Experiment, perhaps I wouldn’t have shifted my thoughts and embraced my nature meditation. If I hadn’t decided to visit the Monroe Institute, perhaps I wouldn’t have gotten such a beautiful chance to put my newfound learnings into action and show myself how far I’ve come.

Remember that sometimes you need to give up that initial sense of control, that ‘knee jerk’ reaction to a situation, for you to find a little more flow in life.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgment habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this blog to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.

Sincerely,

Dr. Danielle Clark | Psychic Medium
drdanielleclark.com

PS – The next time something happens that your ego isn’t happy about, use this affirmation, ‘I know everything connects and I know everything happens in perfect timing.’

PPS – It’s incredibly rewarding when we can learn something and then put it into action. Reflect on recent blogs, podcasts, books and conversations where you’ve learned something new. Grab your pen and journal. What are some of those learning lessons you gained? How can you create a situation to apply those lessons to your day-to-day life? For example, did you finally get around to reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo? If so, good for you! But have you actually done anything with your newfound knowledge? Have you gone through your bookshelf to decide what books give you joy? Have you tried out her vertical folding technique? Create a plan to put a few lessons you’ve learned into action.

Ego versus intuition

My intuitive coaching clients regularly ask me a version of, “I have this voice inside of me when I’m trying to make a decision, but how can I tell if it’s the TrueMe talking or my ego?”

It’s a great question, so great that I decided to share my response with you.

In short, your true voice aka your intuition (or your soul or whatever else you may call it) typically sounds like this:

· Future-focused, coming from a place of the highest good for all

· Clear and concise

· Supportive (but will give you tough love as needed)

· Wise (sometimes, it will even use words or phrases that you typically wouldn’t use, signaling it’s coming from a higher place)

· Makes you feel calm, confident and proud

Your ego will typically sound like this:

· Stuck in the past (oftentimes it will show up as an unhealthy thought-loop replaying a scenario over and over again)

· Repetitive and scattered

· Fear-based, focused on you and you only

· Filled with unkind or deflating comments, i.e. name calling or assuming the worst in people

· This voice makes you feel small, bitter, mad, anxious

The next time you have a big decision to make, take steps to help quiet your ego. To do this I suggest meditation and taking long walks in nature.

Could you benefit from an intuitive coaching or a psychic mediumship reading? If so, check out my services and reach out if it calls to you.

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to help you trust your higher self, “I am fully present. My intuition knows the way.”

PPS – Do you need more clarity on a decision you’re making? If so, grab your journal and a pen. Free write for as long as you need. Try not to overthink what comes to you, just continue to write! What’s the decision? What direction do you think you should take? What are the pros and cons? How are you feeling about it? Once you’re done writing, do an audit of your words using the ‘ego’ and ‘intuition’ definitions above. Are you thinking from a place of ego or intuition?

Only you get to decide if it’s ego

In 2019, I graduated with my Doctor of Business Administration from the University of South Florida. This was huge for me.

Success always seemed like a losing battle. A doctorate degree, let alone finishing high school would have been alien to me when I was younger. At 12 years old I was assigned a truancy officer for skipping school too much, and at 13 I was kicked out of school.

When I hit my late teenage years, I found determination to build a better life for myself, and that started with mustering up the courage to take two busses a night to GED study classes. I failed the math portion of the test, but on the second try a few months later I passed.

At 21 with a 6-month-old baby at home, I enrolled in college courses. Despite my worries that I wasn’t smart enough and that leaving my baby at night made me a bad mother, I earned my bachelor’s degree. Then two master’s. Then my terminal degree.

To me, my doctorate degree means: overcoming adversity, successfully navigating impostor syndrome, perseverance, sacrifice, self-love… and finally earning the ‘Dr.’ in front of my name.

After graduation, the time came to announce to the world that I was ‘Dr. Clark’. I was thrilled, but a sense of hesitancy creeped in. For several months and even with my business students, I’d introduce myself as ‘Danielle’ or ‘Professor Clark’ and avoid the doctorate title altogether.

What if people think I’m conceited? What if my students think I have an ego? I feared coming across as arrogant, as some kind of pompous professor shining a stage light on my achievements.

A friend I graduated with had the letters ‘Dr.’ beautifully tattooed on his wrist. I loved the idea of having a visible daily reminder of ‘I can do anything I put my mind to’ whenever I needed the confidence boost.

I told a few people I was considering getting the tattoo myself and each one further fed my fears by responding along the lines of, “Conceited much?”

It took many conversations with myself and others to finally realize I’m the only one who knows if I have ego, and I shouldn’t care what others think. If it feels good to me, why not? If I want to honor my journey and who I am today by introducing myself as ‘Dr. Clark’ in certain situations (like the classroom), then go me!

It’s now been a few years of hearing ‘Dr. Clark’ echoed back to me. Each time I hear it, I experience a ping of pride. And I’ve heard from many others that knowing I am a young terminal degree holder with an at-risk youth path inspires them to shoot for the stars.

I still don’t have that ‘Dr.’ tattoo. I’ve chosen not to get it; not for concern of what others think, but because I’m just not ready for a tattoo yet (this would be my first so I’m taking it slow).

What have you been holding back from because you’re worried others will assume you have ego? Where have you made yourself small to make others comfortable? And the most important question, how can you put others’ thoughts aside and follow your ego-free desires?

Join me in spreading my messages of breaking judgement habits and strengthening intuition even further: forward this newsletter to a few family members and friends. The greater the shares, the greater the impact – They can subscribe here.

Sincerely,
Danielle

PS – Here’s an affirmation to remind you that your desires matter regardless of what others think, ‘I know my intent and truth. I am a magnet for my dreams and desires.’

PPS – Do you want to work on your self-confidence when it comes to owning your growth and achievements? If so, grab your journal and a pen. Jot down areas of your life you’ve grown in the last year (health, finances, career, spirituality etc.) Have you told your family and friends about your progress and wins? And not just the short generic version because you didn’t want to look like you had an ego? If yes, good for you! Give yourself a pat on the back and write yourself a kudos note. If you answered no, write out how you think a conversation with a family member or friend would play out if you humbly boasted about the things you’re proud of. If this person hints at arrogance or ego within you, how will you respond in a courageous way?

Tag: ego

Never assume…Get curious instead

Everything happens in perfect timing

Ego versus intuition

Only you get to decide if it’s ego

A higher version of YOU

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